Son of Dread
by AardZG pen2
Summary: This is an original fic, in much the same way Magical Girl Pretty Sammy is an original anime/manga. We pay out stuff, we do stuff.
1. Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 1: The Phantom Menace_

"Huh… what time is it?" said Zenith. "9 o'clock?… godammit! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello goodbye I'm late I'm late I'm late! Who the hell am I talking to?"

Zenith ran out into the kitchen or whatever. "Mum! MUM! Where are you? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Shut-up you stupid little shit! I have a headache!"

"Were you out drinking last night?"

"I have no memory of last night."

"Yes you do, I mean, before your fifth drink."

"Oh, well, you see I met this guy… for $75…" she said in an undertone. "And since we already knew each other, we had a couple of drinks together… Uh, that's about all I can remember. Sorry, son."

"That's okay, I'm not worried about THAT. But why couldn't you wake me up on time? You know I had to get my first monster and save humanity… or was it destroy humanity?"

"Save humanity, sweetie. Save."

"Oh, thanks mum," and with that, he left… and then he came back again for his stuff… and then he left again… and then he came back again for his stuff… and then he left again… and then he came back for his toothpaste and underwear… and then he left again… and then he came back for his big, black, square, chunky glasses that he couldn't see a thing without… and finally, he left for good… no, he'd forgotten pokéballs… NOW he left.

Two hours later… well, we think it was two hours later, we can't count…

Zenith is outside a heavily guarded professor Utsagi's lab thinking of a way to steal "his" new monster. In the end he gave up thinking as it was giving him a headache (no that wasn't a hangover, at this point in the story he has no friends to get drunk with). In the end, Zenith just ran through the front gate. He was sure he was going to be stopped but the only person who tried to stop him was a stinky, crusty 80 year old man who wanted help crossing the road. Zenith punched him in the face breaking the old man's nose and ran on. Zenith made it into the lab and managed to steal the disc containing the mystery monster before professor Utsagi noticed he was there. Of course, that was because professor Utsagi was a 43 year old fat ass whose real name was Cartman. However, after Zenith got the disc he noticed. Possibly because the alarm went off. The loud alarms with pretty coloured flashing lights made professor Utsagi turn and see Zenith. Zenith fought with Utsagi/Cartman and won easily by kicking off professor Utsagi's head. Zenith was about to leave when the head began to talk to him. It said: "You shall never defeat me because you do not have the Tekken!"

"Is that a monster?"

"No it's not you pea-brained fool!"

"Now you've just pissed me off." Zenith then trod on the head of Utsagi/Cartman, finally killing him.

_5 minutes later…_

"Damn!" proclaimed Zenith (**_I swear that's a girls' name_**). "There are guards all over the place!"

"Hey! You!" yelled a very high-pitched feminine voice. "The one who just killed the fat assed dude! Come over here and rescue me fast!"

Zenith turned to see who had spoken and saw a very short woman in a cage.

_Will he save the girl? Is this the start of a romantic relationship? Is this the beginning of the end? Find out next time, on Dragonba… hang on! This isn't Dragonball Z! And they forgot to ask if Goku knew what he was doing! And this isn't the end of the… uh… episode? Anyway it's **NOT** the end! Or the beginning of it!_

Zenith ran over and opened the cage.

"Huh… what is that thing?" he asked, gesturing to a funny-looking Pikachu…_ okay, so you don't need the funny looking in front of it, but work with us here_… it had an axe through its head, a knife through its foot and half of its tail was missing (a real improvement on the original, don't cha think?).

"Huh… oh, that's my monster 'AXE-ACHU' and my name's Washu, Little Washu to my friends."

"Okay Little Washu, let's get out of here," said Zenith.

"Oyo, dammit! I said people who are my friends can call me that. You not my friend!" said Little Washu.

"AXA! AXA!" said the Pikachu wannabe.

"What's an AXA? And you didn't say that, you said 'Little Washu to my friends'. Besides, I saved your life!" said Zenith.

"Oh yeah, you did. Okay, let's get out of here and find a shrine to Unlock your disc!Ô" said Little Washu.

Will they escape from professor Utsagi-slash-Carman's lab? Why was he holding Little Washu captive? And does my butt look big in this outfit???

**_Find out next time, on SON OF DREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**


	2. Episode 2: Attack of the Killer Trademar...

**mSon of Dread**ä_Episode 2: Attack of the Killer Trademarks!_ ä__

_Last time on Dragonball Z_ä_! Piccolo_ä_ and Goku_ä_ tried to get their drivers licences and failed! Will they defeat Cell_ä_, even though they don't know he exists yet? Find out today, on Dragonba… DAMMIT!!! NOT AGAIN!!! THIS ISN'T DRAGONBALL Z_ä_! OR DRAGONBALL_ä_! OR DRAGONBALL GT_ä_! OR DRAGONBALL AF_ä_! THIS IS almost BETTER! IT IS **SON OF DREAD**_ä_!_

"Quickly, this way!" said Zenithä. He jumped three feet into the air and went into an open air vent. "What are you waiting for, Little Washuä?"

"What do you mean? I can only jump two and a half feet! How am I meant to get up there?"

"I'll catch you! Jump, okay?" 

"Okay, Axe-achuä, let's go!" She threw Axe-achuä into the vent and then jumped after. The first time, Zenithä forgot to catch her, and fell on top of Axe-achuä, who'd teleportedä to get back down. Little Washuä's top started glowing. "Wow, my crestä has been activated! Axe-achuä, digivolveä!"

"AXAä! AXAä! AXAä!"

"Someone tell me what the hell an AXAä is! And why has your breast been activated!?" yelled Zenithä.

"CHAINSAW-ACHUä! BBZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

"Oh my God! Axe-achuä digivolvedä into Chainsaw-achuä!"

"Now I don't need to know what an AXAä is! And shouldn't that be Chainsaw-achuämonä?"

"No. Quick, Chainsaw-achuä! Use your teleport attackä to get us into those air vents!"

"CHAINSAW! CHAINSAW-ACHUä! BBZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

Later… 

"We are finally out! I thought we were going to dieä of hunger!" said Little Washuä.

"CHAINSAW! CHAINSAW-ACHUä!!!"

"Little Washuä, we were only in there for five digi-minutesä! And that's only because it took me three digi-minutesä to make you that pizzaä!" said Zenithä.

"Whatever. Let's go find that shrineä and Unlock Your Disc! ä"

"BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!" agreed Chainsaw-achuä.

"Shut up Chainsaw-achuä before I armour digivolveä you to Double-Chainsaw-achu-monä using the digi-eggä of stupidity!"

"bzzz…"

"Before we go to the shrineä, let's get something to eat!" said Little Washuä.

"But you just ate a large pizzaä with everything on it two digi-minutesä ago!" complained Zenithä.

"Yeah, exactly. Two DIGI-minutesä ago!"

_So, after three digi-hours__ä __of walking…_

"Here's a place to get some food!" said Zenithä, pointing to a large restaurant/motelä  called the Bates Motelä.

"Have some class, Zenithä. We're not going to a trashy dump like that! Even if it does have five turrets and eighteen swimming pools," Little Washuä said.

"CHAINSAW-ACHUä! BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"bzz…"

So they walked on for another three digi-hoursä till they found that they were at the end of the world. 

"Well" said Zenithä, "it looks like we have to camp out tonight, here in the middle of nowhereä."

"No we don't. There's a Pokémon Centreä over there. And look beyond that! It's a shrineä! Now we can go Unlock Your Disc! ä" said Little Washuä.

"Okay lets hurry and Unlock my Discä!"

So they went into the shrineä, which was fortunately deserted, and started to Unlock Zenithä's Disc! ä

"Unlockä!" said Zenithä.

The discä turned out to contain a dragon-like monsterä, which was a dark-purple-e kind of colour.

"Wow! I got my first monsterä! I wonder what its name is?"

"My name is Shi-noä! I am a Shi-no-monä!" the monsterä said.

"Aaaaah! It has sharp, pointy teeth!" Zenithä shrieked.

"Chainsaw-achuä! It's about to attack us! Look at its face, how it's grinning so evil-like! Use your Bleed attackä!" yelled Little Washuä.

"CHAINSAW! CHAINSAW….ACHUä!"

And Chainsaw-achuä ran up to Shi-noä and bled all over it.

"Noooo!!! I cannot stand up to Chainsaw-achuä's bleed attack!!! Please, stop it!!!….. hang on, this is a pathetic attack that does nothing. I'll fight back with my Bitch-Slap attackä!"

Shi-noä stood up on two legs and bitch-slapped the crap out of Chainsaw-achuä… not a pretty sight. Of course, since they were in a shrineä, there was no littering so Shi-noä had to pick it up and put it back where it came from… yuck.

"Oh no! It defeated Chainsaw-achuä!" Little Washuä said.

"So? Chainsaw-achuä is a pathetic excuse for a monsterä! And why did you tell it to attack me anyway? I wasn't about to attack you! I'm Zenithä's new monsterä!"

"Sor-reee."

"Let's just go to the Pokémon Centreä and heal our monstersä… and get some more Pokéballsä," said Zenithä.

"And get something to eat!" added Little Washuä enthusiastically.

_Why wasn't there anyone at the shrine_ä_?_ _Is Shi-no_ä _really Zenith_ä_'s new monster_ä_? Will Chainsaw-achu_ä_ ever be good at fighting or will it still stay as crap as a Pikachu_ä_? Will they get food at the Pokémon Centre_ä_? Or will they be kicked out for killing Utsagi/Cartman_ä_?and will these crappy _ä disappear?!_ Find out next time on **SON OF DREAD**_ä**_!_**


	3. Episdoe 3: For the Sake of the Ones I Lo...

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 3: For the Sake of the Ones I Love, Vegeta Falls_

Last time on Dragonball Z! Vegeta's attack on Buu just made Buu that much more angry.

_Majin Buu: "Why you… why you… I HATE YOU!!!"_

_Vegeta: "What the hell!?Not only is he strong but he must be immortal. This won't even make a good story. Damn him!?"_

Satoshi Tajiri/Ash from Pokémon: "You're right! That's why we're not doing this story! We're doing the story of how I became Pokémon Master!"

_Krillin: "Nice day, huh? I came here to kill you."_

_Majin Buu: "This is the Majin Buu Saga, not the Cell Saga! Go away and grow some hair baldy!"_

_Goten: "Huh, Krillin? Why don't you have any hair?"_

_Chibi-Trunks: "Yeah, Krillin. You're always meant to act like you have hair!"_

_NOW TO SON OF DREAD, QUICKLY, BEFORE THIS TURNS UGLY!_

_Majin Buu: "You're saying mean things again! In spite of being a weakling! You're cheeky!"_

_Goku: "Damn the Majin Buu Saga! I say we begin a Saga where I'm actually alive! Go the Cell Saga!"_

_Gohan: "It doesn't matter that you're dead because you have your stupid instant transmission technique! What's the point of going to the Cell Saga when you die in that anyway! And you've already fought Buu and gotten your ass-kicked!"_

_Vegeta: "No you idiot! He fought Majin Me!"_

_I SAID GO, QUICKLY! AWAY FROM THE SET OF DRAGONBALL Z!_

_Pan: "Get off me grandpa you pervert!"_

_Goku: "Sorry, Pan."_

_Ash: "Hey lets all sing 'Do you want to be a master of pokémon!'"_

_Bra: "Let's all prance around in bright red vinyl miniskirts, like me!"_

_THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! KAMEAKAMEHA!!!!_

_Goten:"Hey that's my…Arrrrrggggggggg"_

_NOW TO **SON OF DREAD**_!!

"Lets go get some food at the Pokémon Centre, and while we are eating you can tell me why you were at professor Utsagi/Cartman's lab" said Zenith.

"Okay then, lets go"

"CHAINA-CHAINACHU!"

"Dammit that's it " screamed Little Washu and from out of no where she pulled out a chainsaw and said "digi chainsaw energise! Chainsaw-achu armour digivolve to double-Chainsaw-achu-mon!!"  At that moment (and this goes without saying) Chainsaw-achu armour digivolved into double-Chainsaw-achu-mon?! "Well its about time you digivolved into your ultimate form you stupid little idiot!'' screamed Little Washu 

"Are you saying that that's his ultimate form? Man I could still kick his ass,'' said Shi-no 

_Later, while they were enjoying a nice meal at the Pokémon Centre…_

"Well" said little Washu biting into a pikachu burger "Two years ago I was looking for a powerful monster to save the monsters from the evil MO…. Sorry I ment the evil DREAD!!!!"(boom,boom,boom,boooommm)

"Who is dread?" asked Zenith.

"This really evil dude with dreadlocks who wants to take over the world. He turns good monsters into baddies and the only thing that can stop him is the magical belt 'Fat-B-Gone', of the great company of 'Capsule Corp'! As legend has it the belt, with all seven Dragonballs in place…"

Piccolo came through the wall. "WHERE ARE THOSE DRAGONBALLS!? I NEED THEM TO WISH BACK ALL THE PEOPLE KILLED BY PENNY, BECAUSE SHE KILLED ALL OF MY FRIENDS!"

Yamcha came through the wall after him. "Hey, Piccolo, how about I help you look for the Dragonballs. Not all of your friends were killed by Penny. There's still me, and Puar, and Master Roshi, and Oolong, and Chi chi, and Mr Popo, and Dende, and Bulma…"

"Who said you were my friends you useless piece of crap! I know! Chibi-Trunks was killed, but not Adult Trunks! He'll help us find the Dragonballs! Let's go!"

"No!" yelled Zenith. "We must find the Dragonballs before you do!"

"You can have the Dragonballs from when Dende was the guardian of the Earth, we're gonna get the ones from when Kame was," said Yamcha.

And finally, all of the characters from Dragonball Z left the set of Son of Dread. Finally.

"Okay. That made a lot of sense," said Little Washu. "Back to my story…"

"bbzzzzz…" said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon. Translated to 'now back to sleep'.

"…when you put the seven Dragonballs in place a blinding flash of light will occur and rid the world of all baddies. Dread is the kind of guy who would kill anyone. Anyone, that is, but his son, who he's been looking for forever. He wants his son to rule the world alongside him."

_Who is Dread's son? What are the characters of Dragonball Z and GT doing on the set? Goku, I hope you know what you're doing. Will Piccolo's friends be wished back? And why the hell does it matter? Find out some time (maybe not next time) on **Son of Dread!**_


	4. Episode 4: All's Fare in Love and Taxis

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 4: All's Fare in Love and Taxis_

_Last time, on **Son of Dread; **I, Penny the narrator, got pissed off and killed half the cast of Dragonball Z/GT and Little Washu explained who the evil dude in this story is called._

**_By the way, his name is Dread. I bet you never guessed!_**

_Dammit Merlin! Don't tell them that!_

**_And you'll never guess what he's looking for!…it's his son!_**

_Dammit Merlin! I'm gonna kill you if you don't shut up!_

**_Hey, look, it's Piccolo._**

_Shumica Shu-shu!_

**_Piccolo-san, dai-dai!_**

Piccolo: "I want the Dragonballs from Dende's time as guardian of the Earth, you can have Kami's."

_…_

**_…_**

**_Loser._**__

_Now… Is this the beginning of the End?_

**_No, suck! It's just the beginning!_**

_Dammit, I'm gonna kill you! Kamekamaha!_

**_Look at me, I'm dy……._**

_Piccolo: "Noooo! She said she loved me!"_

_All's fare in love and taxis. And now, on…_

**_Onwards, to victory!_**

_…_

**_… I said Onwards to victory! Didn't you hear me!_**

_Why don't you die?_

**_I am dead, see? I got a halo. It tastes like pretzels._**

Piccolo: "I love you so much."

_…_

**_…_**

_Piccolo: "???"_

**_That's it; I'm going back to the dead people's place._**

Piccolo: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..(he had to catch his breath) Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

And now, to **Son of Dread!**

"Who the hell is Dread's son?" asked Zenith.

"That's just it, nobody knows. But let me tell you what Dread looks like. Have you ever seen that episode of Digimon where Palmon and Agumon wear wigs to get inside Myotismon's castle? That's what Dread looks like. Palmon with dreadlocks," Little Washu said, finally finishing her Pikachu burger.

"Wow, he must look pretty scary," said Zenith.

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" agreed Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon, hiding his head in his arms. Unfortunately, his arms don't reach to the top of his head.

"To get your mind off this, let's go to a theme park. There's a Digimon Park just opened a few blocks away. Let's head there," Little Washu suggested.

They all went outside.

"What the hell is going on here?" said Zenith. The shrine was gone and around them was a giant city. "How long does it take you to eat a Pikachu burger, exactly, Little Washu?"

"Well, I don't know… last time I ate a Pikachu burger was in World War V… I don't know how long that took, but when I was done, the war was over," said Little Washu.

"Jeez, I didn't ask for your life story!" said Zenith.

Piccolo gets punched through a wall.

**_Ha HA! Piccolo, you suck! I'm outta here!…again._**

"Noooo! Don't leave me again!" Piccolo yelled. "That was all Penny's fault!"

Screw you, Piccolo. Oh hang on; you don't have any sexual accessories, because you're a Namek! Leave my story NOW!

"Could you tell me where the set of Dragonball Z is?" asked Yamcha, coming in through the Piccolo sized hole in the backdrop.

What the hell is wrong with everybody! Dragonball Z has the set with lots of people getting thrown through walls!

"But isn't that your set?" asked Yamcha.

That's it! You're dead! Kamekameha! Now you get out of here too, Piccolo, before I kill you too.

And once again, the set was erased of all Dragonball/Z/GT characters.

Little Washu, Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon, and Zenith walked to Digimon Park. Luna walked out of an alley in front of them.

"Be careful, Sailor Scouts. This could be a trap of the Negaverse!" she said.

"Luna! I don't give a damn!" said a meatball-headed blond. "Stupid little cat!" she got a deep breath. "You're so stupid! Hurry up and get it on with Artemis! I don't wanna have to wait until the Sailor Moon S movie to see you two get it on! So hurry it up you damned animals!"

Another blond came out of the alley. "Hi! I'm Sailor V! And even if I wasn't in disguise, you'd be able to tell, because I look exactly the same!"

**Wow, you sure look different.**

What is it; international idiotic anime characters invade the set of Son of Dread day? You know I'm gonna have to kill you as well!

"Whoa, someone's got an attitude!" said Artemis.

"Oh shut up, Klutz the Cat!" said Luna.

"Oh no! She's got a gun! Somebody stop her!" said Amy, also appearing out of the alley. "And my calculations show that she plans to use it!"

"Oh whatever gave you that idea, Einstein!" asked Little Washu sarcastically.

This is stupid. I don't have a gun, but I'm going to kill you anyway. Kamekameha.

And so perished the Sailor Scouts, leaving our Son of Dread characters free to continue on to Digimon Park.

Okay, that's the end. And if you say anything about how crap this story is, I'll kill you with my Kamekameha move.


	5. Episode 5: The Explosive Dragon Fist! If...

**Son of Dread******_Episode 5: The Explosive Dragon Fist – If Goku Can't Do It, Who Can?_

_Last time, on **Son of Dread;** almost shit-all happened._

**_Okay, here's what happened._**

_Hey, didn't I kill you?_

Yes, and I still have a halo that tastes like pretzels. Now what happened, was Penny the other narrator killed me and Piccolo announced his undying love for me. That's about it.

You left out the part where I killed half of the Sailor Scouts, and two-thirds of the guardian cats.

Actually, since Luna and Artemis hadn't gotten it on yet, you have killed all of the guardian cats.

Who cares? Let's just go to the story.

Piccolo: "Am I in today's episode?"

Well you are now!

I'm outta here. Instant Transmission!

Piccolo: "No! Come back! I love you!"

That's it Piccolo, if you don't piss off, I'm going to practise my Kamekameha technique on you! Now, to Son of Dread!

"C'mon, Zenith! I want to go on the rollercoaster!" Little Washu said.

"Shut the hell up, Little Washu!" Zenith yelled.

"I'm sorry, Zenith," she said, sidling closer to Zenith as they reached the main gates to the theme park.

To those of you who didn't realize it, Little Washu was flirting with Zenith.

"I was not!" Little Washu denied.

"Yes you were," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon, who had a really annoying Agumon-like voice.

They reached the ticket boxes.

"Two tickets, please," said Zenith.

"I SORREE! I NO SPEAK ENGGLEESH VEREEE VELL!" yelled the ticket salesperson.

"ME WANT TO BUY THREE TICKETS!" Zenith bellowed.

"BEFOREE YOU SAY YOU BUY TOOO TICK-TICKETTSS!" the salesperson answered.

"How do you know? I thought you didn't speak English very well," Little Washu asked.

"Okay, I was lying. Three tickets it is," the salesperson replied.

Little Washu holds out her purse to pay, but Zenith stops her, all manly like.

"I'll pay," he said. "My treat."

I bet Little Washu thinks this is a date!

"I do not!"

By the way Zenith, you're paying for me too.

"Okay," said Zenith, who was loaded (NO he's NOT a drug addict).

"Aren't you meant to be dead?" asked Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

… Shut-up! Why does everybody ask me that question! Isn't my halo obvious enough?

"Does it really taste like pretzels?" asked Little Washu.

I don't think I really need to answer that question.

Stop it! You should really be more polite to the characters I've cast in this story!

I haven't killed any of them yet! What're you complaining about? Return to your place as an inactive narrator!

Inactive? What about all the people I've killed?

…

???

Piccolo: "???"

GO AWAY, PICCOLO!

Piccolo: "…"

Piccolo walks off into the backdrop. Bet he didn't see that one coming!

That's gotta hurt! Almost makes me feel sorry for him. Almost.

Listen! Shut-up! The only reason we're here is to tell Little Washu, Zenith, Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon and Shi-… Dammit! Where's Shi-no?

Oh yeah. I saw the owner of this park, Mr Popo, sending out his evil minions Pikachu and Mocchi to capture Shi-no.

"How did you manage to see that if you were hiding out in the land of the dead-people, away from Piccolo?" asked Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

Stop questioning me!

Listen up, the only reason we came here was to tell you guys that MR POPO is the big evil supreme pizza dude that you have to kill to end this episode. If you don't kill him and his mini-pizzas…

Pizza?

"Pizza?" asked Zenith. "I should really pay more attention to what Penny's saying."

"It really doesn't matter," said Little Washu. "If you've missed anything, you can read the script."

Can I borrow a copy of that? I kinda lost the last one… down the toilet…

Little Washu, Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon and Zenith pulled out their scripts. They offered them to Merlin.

I am going to have to confiscate these scripts from you.

Merlin grabbed all of the scripts and shoved them into her pants.

Those scripts are my property!

Do you want them back?

…

What about you characters?

"I'm not touching those," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

Listen to me! You cannot finish this episode until Mr Popo and his evil mini-pizzas are dead!

Pizzas are inanimate objects. I don't think they can die.

But you can!

Nope. I'm already dead.

"Just tell us what you were originally going to," Little Washu said angrily.

Look out! It's Mr Popo's evil henchmonsters Pikachu and Mocchi!

"Pikachu!" yelled Pikachu. Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon stepped in to fight him. Pikachu won with a bodyslam attack.

Don't worry! I'll kill both of them with my Special Beam Cannon!

Piccolo: "Hey! That's my attack!"

Piss off, Piccolo!

I'll have to get rid of him instead. I'm going to take you to…

Piccolo: "The movies?"

I'm going to Instant Transmission you to the new planet Vegeta!

Merlin ran over to Piccolo.

Sorry, looks like I won't be able to kill those idiot monsters. Don't make anything out of this. Instant Transmission!

Merlin and Piccolo teleported off the set.

"I'm gonna kill you Mocchi!" said Little Washu.

"No you're not chi!" said Mocchi. "We have Shi-no as a hostage chi!"

Pikachu pulled out a heavily drugged Shi-no out from behind the ticket stands.

"Pika, pika, pikachu!" translated: "If you don't want your only good monster to die I suggest you give in!"

"Noooo!" screamed Zenith. "If only we had the script! Then we'd know what to do!"

"Bloody Merlin!" cursed Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

Don't worry! I'll save you!

"How do you intend to do that chi?" asked Mocchi.

With the Explosive Dragon Fist! If Goku can't do it, who can? Answer that, Pikachu!

"Pikaaaaachuuuuu!" yelled Pikachu (by the way, that was an 'anybody').

Die!!!!!!

And so that was the end of Pikachu and Mocchi.

And this episode.

Why don't you die?!


	6. Episode 6: The Unleashing

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 6: The Unleashing_

_Last time, on Dragonball Z!_

**_You mean Son of Dread._**__

_No, I mean Dragonball Z. There is an episode of that called 'The Unleashing'. It's in the Cell Saga._

**_…We're talking about Son of Dread!_**

_Piccolo: "Are you doing a Dragonball Z episode?"_

**_Piss off, Piccolo!_**

Piccolo: "…" 

**_Bye. Instant Transmission!_**

Dammit, Piccolo! Now I have to narrate the beginning by myself! 

_Piccolo: "I'll be a narrator for this episode."_

_Okay! Good! You can tell the audience what happened last **Son of Dread,** while I go and make baked potatoes. See ya!_

_Piccolo: "Last time, on **Son of Dread,** Digimon Park turned out to be a trick of the Negaverse, ruled by the evil Mr Popo, who sent out his henchmonsters Pikachu and Mocchi, to capture Shi-no. Their evil plan was foiled and Pikachu and Mocchi destroyed by Penny. Will our heroes (and narrators) defeat the evil Mr Popo? Or will the series end here, and the set be converted to Dragonball Z?_

_No! I payed for this set!…With Merlin's money…_

_Piccolo: "Stay tuned for more **Son of Dread!**_

**__**

"Thankyou Penny, for saving us from the evil henchmonsters Pikachu and Mocchi," said Little Washu. "But I thought the episode couldn't end until Mr Popo and his evil mini-pizzas were defeated."

_We ran out of funding thankyou MERLIN! Oh, that's right, she's not here._

"You must tell us were the eeeevil Mr Popo is," pleaded Zenith.

**_Be a man, Zenith!_**

_Hey! What're you doing back?_

**_I have the scripts and I'm going to tell people when they stuff up their lines…stupid Dragonball Z dubbing people. Stuffing up the scripts… By the way, it's the eeeeeevil Mr Popo!_**

_…_

_Piccolo: "???"_

**_Piss off, Piccolo!_**

_Piccolo: "Fine! I am the lord of demons Piccolo! I need no help from puny narrators! Especially those who're meant to be dead!"_

Piccolo ran off to hell (he rules over hell).

"Back to us characters," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon. "We still have to kill Mr Popo and his evil mini-pizzas."

"I will do it," said Shi-no. "I will kill Mr Popo."

"And I will eat his mini-pizzas!" said Little Washu.

"Little Washu, you eat way too much," complained Zenith. "But you've still got a nice figure."

**_Wrong line! You're meant to say: 'Good job, Gohan'._**

_…_

"That made no sense," said Little Washu.

"Little Washu, I just paid you a compliment that wasn't written down in the script," said Zenith.

"Oh really? Thanks Zenith," (Little Washu was blushing).

Evil mini-pizzas suddenly came out of the ground, and moved funky-like towards the characters (dancing).

**_We'll take care of these mini-pizzas. Right Penny?_**

"No! I haven't eaten in…" Little Washu began to count on her fingers. "A while! Please let me and Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon take care of them!"

**_Well, it's not in the script…_**

_Okay, but we get the leftovers._

"Deal," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon. And with that, they went about the gruelling job of cutting the pizza.

"Let's go and get Mr Popo!" Shi-no said to Zenith.

"But I want some pizza…" complained Zenith.

**_Be a man!_**

"Climb on my back!" instructed Shi-no.

_Kinky!_

Zenith ignored Penny and climbed on Shi-no's back, who flew away over Digimon Park, looking for Mr Popo.

**_Penny, this is like the first Coola Movie._**

_Bread with me!_

**_Penny, it's spelt B*R*E*E*D!_**

_Breed with me!_

**_That's better._**

"Penny! You can have some pizza now!" said Little Washu.

**_What about me?_**

"You're dead," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

_Piccolo: "Changing scene to Mr Popo in his lab."_

**_Piss off Piccolo!_**

Mr Popo was trying to discover a cure for cancer. "That's it, I just need one more chemical… maybe I should write this down…"

Zenith and Shi-no flew through the skylight, with Shi-no using his flamethrower attack. They completely destroyed all of Mr Popo's work.

"Noooo! You'll pay for this! I defeated Goku, you know," he said.

"Heh heh, loser," said Zenith.

Mr Popo attacked Zenith and Shi-no.

"We won't be able to defeat him like this!" said Zenith. "We need more power!"

Shi-no went Super Saiyan! Shi-no farted in Mr Popo's face.

"Wow, that's the first completely evil dude I've defeated in one hit," said Shi-no, as Mr Popo died.

"Obnoxious gases," explained Zenith. "Obnoxious gases."

_Piccolo: "Back to the entrance to Digimon Park."_

**_PISS OFF PICCOLO!_**

"Oh no!" said Zenith. "I didn't get any pizza!"

"Don't worry, Zenith, I saved you some," said Little Washu, pulling some pizza out from her top.

"Thanks, Little Washu," said Zenith, biting into the pizza happily.**__**

**_To be continued… (we spent most of the money for this episode on the pizzas. Bye bye, special episode four pages!)_**


	7. Episode 7:Follow the Leader

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 7:Follow the Leader_

_Last time on **Son of Dread:**_

Sing to the tune of Pokémon Johto They finally killed Mr Popo 

**_Pokémon Johto!_**

**_Little Washu gave Zenith some pizza_**

**_It came from out of her top_**

**_Little Washu was flirting with Zentih_**

**_Trying to get him into bed_**

**_This time, he might_**

**_Get her top undone_**

**_But if, he doesn't_**

**_They're still gonna have some fun_**

**_It's a whole new episode_**

**_It's the same old storyline_**

**_It's a whole new character, with a brand new attitude_**

**_But you've still gotta think it's gay, because it is… very._**

_Piccolo: "Now to Son of Dread!"_

Piss off, Piccolo! 

**__**

"Ah! God dammit Little Washu! This has anchovies!" yelped Zenith, spitting out his pizza.

"I'm sorry Zenith. They're not anchovies…" replied Little Washu.

Everybody stared at her.

_Piccolo: "Change scene! Quick!"_

Piss off, Piccolo! I'm outta here! Instant Transmission! 

Our characters were walking across the countryside, looking for pieces of the triforce… and the Dragonballs… and Mystery Discs… while looking after the G.S. ball… and looking for the Tekken…

"We can't find all that!" complained Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

"Okay, let's get rid of the triforce, the Tekken and the Dragonballs… NO! We need those!" said Zenith.

"That's right, Zenith. We need those," said Little Washu patting his head (wink, wink, nudge, nudge [not that head]).

Shi-no got jealous. "Sing this to the tune of 'Men in Tights'" he said.

_Zenith: "We're guys, we're guys and girls."_

_Little Washu: "Hot girls!"_

_Shi-no: "We run around the world looking for balls."_

Merlin Instant Transmissions onto the set.

Did I hear balls? 

_Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon: "Dragonballs!"_

_Zenith: "And don't call us losers. Piccolo's the only one we do call that!"_

_Little Washu: "We're guys."_

_Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon: "We're guys and girls."_

_Shi-no: "Hot girls!"_

_All: "And now we can't think of anything else to sing!"_

_Shi-no: "So now we finish this song of ours with a kiss!"_

Piccolo comes in.

_I…I think I'll be going now…_ _Piccolo: "…Please…"_

**_Instant Transmission!_**

And far away, on new Vegeta…

What the hell am I doing in this hole? Back on the set of Son of Dread… "Hey, I didn't mean for those two to kiss," said Shi-no. 

"Bestiality is a sin," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

"No, I meant us… NO! I meant Little Washu and Zenith," said Shi-no.

"Hey, who's that new character that Merlin and Penny sang about?" asked Zenith, not wanting to kiss Little Washu.

"I don't know, Merlin has the scripts," replied Little Washu, feeling depressed (and horny). "Let's look for balls!"

"Uh, that's Dragonballs," corrected Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.

Piccolo: "Sorry, I lost a couple of scenes here. Do you think we could re-do it?"

_No Piccolo, this is live._

_Piccolo: "Shit."_

After a long and frantic search for the scenes (they didn't find them, but we got more funding)… 

"Hey, how did we get here? And who are you?" Little Washu asked.

There was a new character on the set of Son of Dread and he wasn't from Dragonball anything, or any other anime. He was Duccio, a _gay_ Spanish poet.

"I am Duccio the great, will you please come on a date?" he said.

"Sure," said Little Washu. Zenith got annoyed. "With Zenith."

Zenith was happy about that.

Merlin Instant Transmissioned onto the set.

"Sung to the tune of 'the Sound of Music'" said Duccio.

**_The hills are alive… with Duccio's craptacular music._**

With poems that are gay. For Little Washu.

"End song here," said Zenith.

"Who does that guy think he is? Peter Pan, or Muscle Man?" asked Duccio.

"My biggest muscle is below my belt," said Zenith, wiggling his eyebrows up and down meaningfully at Little Washu, who giggled and blushed.

Piccolo, Goku, Majin Buu, Pan, Goten, Chibi-Trunks, Krillin, Vegeta, Ash from pokémon, Gohan, Yamcha, Sailor V, Serena, Luna, Artemis, Amy and Bra Instant Transmissioned onto the set.

_Piccolo: "I have finally found all seven Dragonballs, and wished my friends back to life. Now, Penny will pay!"_

**_Don't worry, Penny! I'll save you! Instant Transmission!_**

_Majin Buu: "Who will narrate the next episode of Son of Dread? Find out next time, on Son of Dread!"_


	8. Episode 8: Dammit! The Contract Says…

**Son of Dread**_ Episode 8: Dammit! The Contract Says…_

_Majin Buu: "Last time, on Son of Dread!"_

_Super Buu: "Beat you! Beat YOU!!!!"_

_Piccolo: "Shut up! (Kicks Super Buu out the back door)"_

_Queen Beryl: "You can never defeat me, you stupid moon child!"_

_Piccolo: "Shut up! (Kicks Queen Beryl out the back door onto Super Buu)"_

_Ash from pokémon: "Pokémon Johto!"_

_Piccolo: "Shut up! (kicks Ash out the back door onto Queen Beryl and Super Buu)"_

_Gohan: (dancing around) "Whenever evil is afoot…"_

Videl: (also dancing around) "And the raging fires of justice burn…"

_Gohan: "Great Saiyaman #1!"_

_Videl: "And #2!"_

_Gohan and Videl: "Hand down swift justice!"_

_Majin Vegeta: "Shut up! (kicks Gohan and Videl out the back door onto Ash, Queen Beryl and Super Buu)"_

_Piccolo: "You piss me off! (kicks Majin Vegeta out the back door onto Gohan, Videl, Ash, Queen Beryl and Super Buu)…"_

Eight hours later… 

**_Kinky!_**

Piccolo: "Last time, on Son of Dread!" Piccolo: "…anybody? Dammit! We actually need the narrators!" 

Duccio, Little Washu, Zenith, Shi-no and Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon were reading their newly written scripts in the ladies' toilets.

"Why the hell do we have to be in here? There's only one girl among us," said Zenith.

"I don't care, we must be fair. Guy's toilets stink and I like pink!" sang Duccio.

"Yeah, well that's because you're gay," said Little Washu.

"That hurt! I eat dirt!"

"Why the hell do you always speak in rhyme?" asked Shi-no.

"I am a poet. I bet you didn't know it!" replied Duccio.

"Who cares how he speaks?" asked Little Washu. Everybody raised their arms. "Okay, that was a philosophical question. I mean, if I were to say; 'who cares how I speak?" what would you do?"

Everybody raised their arms again.

"Well, stuff you then! Let's just continue to look at our scripts!"

Everybody went back to reading their scripts.

A few moments later, Zenith pulled a piece of paper out from his script.

"Have you read this contract, Little Washu?" he asked.

"No, I just signed it. Why?" she replied.

"Well, that's what I did too, I was just reading it and… well… gee…"

"What is it Zenith?" she asked him.

"Well," said Zenith, going incredibly red. "A little help here, Penny?"

"She's on the new planet Vegeta," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon. "What does it say?"

"Well… it says… it says… after eight episodes, me and Little Washu have to… well… you know…"

"No, we don't. Tell us!" said Shi-no.

"You know… have sex," said Zenith. Little Washu pulled out her contract too.

"Wow, it does," she said. "Let's go talk to our managers!"

After a long talk with their MANAGERS they finally agreed to have sex but this would be the only time!

 After a long walk it finally turned to night and they stoped for a rest. It had been raining and since the rest of their clothes were dirty they decided to all sleep naked!!!

"I think that should do it" said Zenith as he stood up and wiped the sweat and rain out of  his eyes, he turned and started to pull his tent out of its cover. 

"You don't have to do that" said little Washu hopefully "it's raining and if you put your tent up you might catch a cold so you can sleep in my tent"

"Little Washu if you haven't noticed" said Zenith getting a little red. "We are both naked and if we sleep in the same tent I don't think I can control myself".!!$#?

"That's my point, our contract says we have to, so lets do it! 

 _Piccolo: later in little Washu's tent._

Little Washu lay awake for ages after Zenith had got to sleep! He had helped her so much in their quest for the dragonballs and the magical belt 'Fat-Be-Gone', but how could she repay him, only one idea came to mind.

By morning, they'd lost their virginity (supposedly).

"Nothing can defeat the penis!" said Zenith.

"I'm glad we used those stereotypes instead of actually doing it ourselves," said Little Washu.

Just then Merlin instant transmissioned onto the set.

**_What? That's it, me and Penny are kicking everyone off the set, restarting the series and paying more attention! I'm going to go get her now and we'll announce it all proper-like._**

Merlin instant transmissions off the set to the planet New Vegeta, fetches Penny and comes back.

**_Okay, that's it. We're officially restarting the series._**

By this time everyone else was there (including all of the characters from all of the different animes that had ever invaded the set of Son of Dread [all characters. Lots of people]).

_Yes, it is possible to fit that many people comfortably in a two-man tent._

**_You should see it, our audience. Highly possible._**

_Yes…shut-up!_

_Sailor Pluto: "How do you intend to do that?"_

**_With my Time-freeze attack!_**

_Guldo: "That's mine!"_

**_TIME FREEZE!_**

_You'd better read the next episode of Son of Dread! Sorry, first._


	9. Series 2, Episode 1 – Bum bum bum

****

Son of Dread_ Series 2, Episode 1 – Bum bum bum (really dramatic beaver music)_

Hello and welcome to series 2 of Son Of Dread. Today we will show you how to make cheesy macaroni and we'll also tell you what day of the week it is. We'll also find out if we're looking at the rocket clock today or the flower clock.

****

Dammit Penny! This is not playschool! It's Sesame Street! Son of Elmo! Oh, and Big bird's too.

Hang on, aren't Big Bird and Elmo both guys?

****

Yeah, but they're also both girls.

How's that workable?

****

Hello? Hermaphrodites!

Ok whatever; lets just get on with the story. Last time, on Son of Dread…

****

It doesn't matter; we restarted the series.

Well, not really, we're just starting a new series. It's kinda following the last ones so it's still the same bad guy, still the same crappy characters, and still the same evil narrators. But we're going to try to keep out the non-Son of Dread anime characters. So without further…something on to Son Of Dread.!@#;':{_+{})(8

Little Washu was giving Zenith a blowjob, oh wait a min I meant to say she was drying his hair with a blow dryer.

"Um Little Washu … why are you doing that, my head isn't wet or anything" said Zenith getting really confused.

"You're talking about the wrong head Zenith, if you didn't realise I'm on my knees…" Little Washu said.

Zenith blushed (and not where you're thinking). 

"What are we meant to be doing today?" he asked, covering up his stupidity.

**__**

Not that it worked, because everyone knows he's stupid.

And gay. I bet that's why he isn't just totally over the moon that someone like Little Washu is all over him.

"We can handle our own story, so would you please leave?" said Shi-no.

"Yeah, we don't need no narrators," agreed Completely-decapitated-achu-mon.

__

Without the narrators, there is no show. We have the money!

****

And besides, if we leave, then who'd piss you off?

"You need not do that. It'll just make us fat," said Duccio (well duh it was Duccio, because he's the only one insane enough to bother to rhyme all the time)

"who is that, I own a pet cat."

"No you don't you gay son of a bitch, well you do have a cat but its not your pet it thinks your such a"

__

Goku: "YAHO!"

"That's it Goku, I'm gonna kill you, GO TO HELL" said Duccio's pet cat.

__

My job! Kamekameha!

"God dammit! I'm not his pet, and who said that?" said the cat.

"Who said what" said Zenith loving the fact that Duccio's cat was yelling at him

"You Know the Voice that describes every thing like; 'said Zenith loving the fact that Duccio's pet cat was yelling at him,' " said Duccio's pet cat. "Yeah, that."

__

Freaky, huh?

****

But us narrators don't have a voice like that for us. Well, not most of the time anyway. Sometimes in the earlier series.

"But who could it be?" asked Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon, ignoring the narrators completely.

"Oh my god! Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1, I mean Completely-decapitated-achu-mon?" said Shi-no.

"No, I'm not Shi-no," replied Completely-decapitated-achu-mon.

"Wow, incred! It must be Dread!" said Duccio. And he is right. Mwahahahaha! Well, I might not be, but hell, you have to have dramatics in a not-so TV series.

"Whoever it is, sure isn't acting very evil, and doesn't sound like Palmon, even with a wig," commented Zenith. Thankyou.

__

You mustn't be fooled, you fools!

****

You're being foolish, bloody anime-slash-manga characters…

Okay, I'm going to give you a spell.

"Really?" asked Little Washu.

__

Really.

"Really?" asked Zenith.

__

Rea…Shut-up! Now, the spell that I'm going to give you will make it so whenever that invisible voice says you do something you don't really have to do it unless you want to.

****

MAD!

I know, I'm just so great.

"So are you going to give it to us or not?" asked Completely-decapitated-achu-mon.

__

Of course.

And so Penny the narrator gave the characters the stupid power spell thingy.

And now, for some fun!

Of course, since it doesn't really matter what I say now, I'm going to go on and on about what the characters are doing.

__

What's the point of that? I mean, isn't that what you usually do?

…yes, but this time it's special. Get a load of this!

Little Washu was lying in Zenith's arms, while giving Duccio a blowjob. Duccio was enjoying this, but he was kinda busy with Completely-decapitated-achu-mon, if you get my drift. And as for Shi-no, well you might not want to know where he was, but I'm going to tell you anyway…

"That's enough!"

__

Said Little Washu. Hey, somebody's gotta do it.

****

Couldn't help yourself, could you?

Are you talking to me or Penny?

**__**

Both. But you Mister I Can Make the Son Of Dread Characters Do Whatever I Want Them To, stop it, or I'll call Bojack and we'll kick your ass! Which I could do on my own, but I feel like freaking out everyone in the Universe.

But I'm not really here.

**__**

So? We'll just kick your non-existent ass.

Hello? You don't need to go get Bojack, I mean, one, he's only been in one Son of Dread movie and I'm more important, and two, how the hell can you fuse with him anyway?

Yeah, aren't you meant to be the same sex in order to fuse?

"Narrators! The story is meant to be about us! Get back to us already!"

**__**

Said Zenith. I dunno. And Bojack is important; he ate that Dragonball, and so is essential to the show.

Wait, it really doesn't matter. The point is that this narrator with the stupid name that you just gave it…

Huh, what about Zero's full name? That's a stupid name.

**__**

Dammit! I'm getting Bojack! Instant Transmission!

Now you've done it.

"Zero instant transmissioned back onto the set with Bojack."

"Said Shi-no."

"Narrated Completely-decapitated-achu-mon."

__

Shut-up. Why am I here, anyway?

****

Because the event-speaking narrator is being a bitch.

Because Penny gave the Son of Dread characters the power not to do anything I said.

__

Because you're gay.

Uh-huh…

****

Beat him up! I can't see him!

That's because he's not here!

****

Well, yeah…

Okay, if I make the characters have to do most things you say, will you be responsible and not use your powers for evil?

Mostly…

__

Good enough.

Does that mean I can go?

****

Wait, this is like, the end of the episode, and I think we should have a beautiful end.

BE WATCHING NEXT TIME, ON SON OF DREAD!!!

__

And, if you need help deciphering the Narrators' fonts, look at the credits of Son of Dread movie 1.


	10. Series 2™, Episode 2™ – In Search of A N...

**__**

Son of Dread™ _Series 2™, Episode 2™ – In Search of A Name for this Episode™ Attack of The Killer Trademarks™ II™_

We join our heroes as they make their way to Lavender Town™. Ash™, Brock™ and Misty™ have just died, so we're going with Xena™ and Gabrielle™ to the lesbian spa™.

__

Stop doing that!

****

There's enough queerity™ (that is too a word you bitch) in this show without Gabrielle™ and Xena™.

At least until halfway through this episode™.

Ladies, I think we have found out this episode's™ name.

**__**

Already?

Ladies?

Don't sound so disappointed. This is obviously Attack of the Killer Trademarks™.

**__**

Don't be daft™, we've already had that episode. This is obviously_ Attack of the Killer Trademarks™ De Attack of the Killer Trademarks™ After Attack of the Killer Trademarks™. Or… we could just stick with "In Search of A Name for this Episode!!!"_

You mean Attack of the Killer Trademarks™ II™?

****

I mean what I said.

I have corrected the title! On with the story!

**__**

At least he-slash-she-slash-it's better company than Piccolo.

Piccolo™: (is not there)

****

Hooray!

Huh?

"Hey Zenith™, let's go get laid™!" said Little Washu™. "Wow, the event narrator is doing his job again." Of course.

"Isn't that getting old™?" asked Zenith™.

"I don't care, I wanna get laid™!"

"Get a room," suggested Shi-no™.

"Uh, let's just look for balls™," said Zenith™, starting to get nervous. "I am not!"

**__**

Did I hear balls™**_?_**

"Dragonballs™," assured Little Washu™.

So everybody ran off looking for dragonballs™, because there is a slim-to-none chance of Little Washu™ getting laid™ ever, even with the help of the dragonballs™ and the narrators' consent. And I wouldn't write it down, even if it happened for some reason (probably the ratings™ or the audience™).

__

Can't be.

****

Nup. It's because Penny™ can't write a sex™ scene, even though she has all them porno books™.

…

Okay, you guys can break it up now. It's series two™ already and like, nothing™ has happened so far at all.

__

Well, yeah.

****

I've got it!

What?

****

We make a movie two™**_! It will be set after this episode_**™**_ finishes!_**

Okay.

****

Yes. For I have the laptop™**_! I gotta power_**™**_ to write Son of Dread_**™**_!_**

That doesn't help with what this episode™ is going to have to do with the storyline™.

**__**

Fine. Hang on.

These new scripts™_ suck._

"Absolutely," said everybody even me. Oh, Duccio™ didn't say that. He couldn't think of a rhyme™ either, so he didn't talk at all, just nodded mutely.

"I could write a better script™," said Zenith™.

__

Probably. What does having the word "trademark™_" repeated over and over have to do with anything_™_?_

****

Fine! Zenith™**_, write a good script_**™**_ then!_**

ZENITH'S™ SCRIPT™

Zenith™ faced a horrible™ new kind of monster™.

"Shi-no™," he said. "Get it so I can catch it with a pokéball™!"

Goddamn™ that script™ sucks! I refuse to narrate™ any more!

**__**

Mine was better.

Sadly, yes it was.

"Fine! I'm leaving!" yelled Zenith™, and ran out through a door in the backdrop™.

"Zenith™!" Little Washu™ said, running after him.

__

Duccio™_, write us a script_™.

**__**

Yeah Duccio™**_, write us a script_**™**_._**

Penny and Zero…

__

Hey!

****

We're the narrators™**_, we don't need a narrator_**™**_!_**

Sorry!

**__**

We're outta here.

Duccio™, write us a script™.

"No you hoe!" yelled Duccio™.

Do it! Or I'll narrate™ you into really bad™ situations™.

"Okay! Good, aye?"

Duccio's™ rhymes are getting worse™ and worse™. The other narrators™ got bored and left. Will I be the only narrator™ left? Will Son of Dread™ ever get anywhere? What's this I hear about a movie two™?

**__**

Bad narrator™**_! Only we may narrate_**™**_ the end_**™**_!_**

Will I ever truly write Son of Dread™_ again?_

****

Not likely.

Will movie two™_ ever be written?_

****

Yep.

Find out next time™_ maybe_™_, on **SON OF DREAD**_™**_ MOVIE TWO_**™**_!_**


	11. Series 2, Episode 3 – Die Penny! Enemy R...

****

Son of Dread_ Series 2, Episode 3 – Die Penny!!! Enemy Resurrection in Hell_

Okay, who came up with the title for this episode?

****

Isn't it obvious? I'm the one writing this. It isn't my fault, I couldn't think of a name and started watching Dragon Ball GT. At least this is a better title than; What a Shock! Sheng Long is an Enemy! Oh, something important!!! Since thingy thingy… WINDOWS IS GAY and SUCKS and I'm referring mostly to MICROSOFT WHICH IS STUPID, okay, I don't have Bojack's font!!!!!!!!

…Okay…

****

So I have to have a new font for Bojack.

That's very nice.

This is my new font. It sucks ass.

Anyway, onto Son of Dread.

__

MY LINE! Stay tuned for…

(Here comes the new *all narrators in the scene* font)

**__**

SON OF DREAD!!!

This episode starts in hell.

__

Piccolo: Grrr.

Today is a very hellish day in hell. Piccolo is angry.

__

Piccolo: "…Yes, I am angry."

There are other people in hell too though.

__

Piccolo: " Sucker! I am really the notorious demon king Piccolo!"

Yeah. Anyway, the people are like, lots of people.

__

Majin Buu: "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"

Super Buu: "Beat you! Beat YOU!!!!"

Queen Beryl: "First the moon, then the Universe!!!"

Ash: "Gotta catch 'em all!"

Gohan and Videl (Great Saiyaman #1 & #2): "POKÉMON!"

Vegeta: "…"

Well, Vegeta's just there, he doesn't have to say anything. But see, it's like, changed since the last episode of series one, because then it was Majin Vegeta and yeah. And because we're bored, we'll just list the other people.

__

Piccolo: "Setsuna aka Sailor Pluto, Guldo, Krillin, Chibi-Goten, Chibi-Trunks, Goku, Pan, Bra, Yamcha… NO! Not Yamcha!!!"

Not Yamcha.

__

Piccolo: "Luna, Usagi aka Bunny aka Sailor Moon aka Serena… Wow, she has too many names."

You left out "Meatball head".

__

Piccolo: "That too then. Sailor V aka Sailor Venus aka Mina, Artemis, Ami aka Sailor Mercury… That's it, I'm just saying one of their names from now on. Mocchi, Pikachu, Mr Popo, yeah, that's it."

And unknown to the narrators, except if they managed to catch a clue by the name of the episode, these enemies from hell are coming to extract their vengeance.

"Zenith! I wanna get laid!" whined Little Washu.

"Little Washu, that it definitely getting old by now!" yelled Zenith.

"But it's true…" Little Washu said.

"Little Washu, I will go out with you!" rhymed Duccio pathetically.

"No. I mean, you're gay."

"You should go out with Shi-no," said Zenith.

"Oh, Shi-no!"

"No."

"Let's search for more dragonballs," suggested More-Decapitated-than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon.

So they wandered around, and ate some pie which Penny didn't cook because Penny doesn't share!!! And then some more stuff happened.

__

You mean like that?

Yes.

**__**

Eh?

Coming through the gigantic Piccolo-sized hole in the backdrop that strangely nobody noticed before Pan pointed it out, were all of the people from hell I mentioned earlier, screaming for Penny's blood.

**__**

Hell?

How come you didn't tell me?

They are led by Piccolo.

__

Evil crowd from hell: "Die Penny!!!"

****

Well, you'll have to find out what happens in the next paragraph, won't you?

Shi-no and Penny went Super Saiyan, Bojack entered the set but there was no BEERO because this isn't a movie! Penny went:

__

God dammit! Get out of my movie!!!!!

And Zero went:

**__**

Yeah! What she said!

The crowd from hell continued screaming, and then…

"More-Decapitated-than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon, digi-modify! Stupidity, activate!"

Then a word flashed on screen.

DIGIVOLUTION_

"More-Decapitated-than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon, digivolve to… Metal-More-Decapitated-than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon!"

And what happened goes without saying. Then the narrators decided that Jyuuhatchigo wasn't content being in just movie two, even though she probably was, so they forced her to come.

**__**

Finally we have a chance for peace, real peace!!

Evil crowd from hell: "???"

Usagi: "How dare you!! That's my line!"

Then all of the Son of Dread characters went:

****

We shall triumph!!!

And everybody attacked each other at once, in what was finally a grand brawl.

**__**

Keep watching Son of Dread! Okay.


	12. Series 2, Episode 4 – Attack of the Kill...

****

Son of Dread_ Series 2, Episode 4 – Attack of the Killer Communists!! Time for some Nazi-killing fun!!_

****

Last time, on Son of Dread…

Dammit! We don't have time for that! An evil crowd from hell is still trying to kill me and we're finally having that grand brawl!

****

Aah! I have to go get Bojack! (Even though he's already here…)

…Kamekameha! Kamekameha! KAMEKAMEHA! Why don't you dead people die already?!

Piccolo: "We're dead, Penny."

DIE!

Grand brawl! Grand brawl!

Leave some for me!

****

What about the characters?

More importantly, what about me?!

"We'll hold our own!" said Little Washu. "Get 'em, Metal-More-Decapitated-than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon!"

"Go, Shi-no!" said Zenith.

"Oh no! Pokéball, go!" rhymed Duccio, because hey, it turns out he actually has a monster and just never could think of a rhyme before.

There was a temporary pause in the grand brawl.

__

Mocchi: "What the hell is that, chi?"

"That is a chinpokomon; Shoe!" said Shi-no.

"I must collect all chinpokomon to become the royal chinpokomaster and defeat the evil power hwa!" said Zenith, all in one quick breath.

__

Chibi-Goten: "And now he's gasping for air."

In theory. In THEORY, communism works.

Evil crowd from hell: "Shit! She's onto us!"

****

???

Cid: (appearing suddenly ???) "$#*%! She's onto us!"

Chuanchan: (enters through the Piccolo-sized hole in the backdrop) You're all wrong. It's a cube.

It's a communist!!!

****

???

Free the Tibetans!

Now make her some tea.

If you don't mind, I have to go… WIN SELF-DETERMINATION FOR THE SOUTH SRI-LANKAN PEOPLE!

****

Okay that's enough Chinese jokes.

There was an Australian, an Irishman and a Chinaman.

****

I said enough Chinese jokes!

Chuanchan: The Fulun Gung are evil. The government are always right. Communism works.

Okay, how's this for a joke; How do you get Pikachu on a stick?

All bar Ash: "Pokémon!"

Ash: "HEY!"

Shi-no, weaken him with Gon with the Wind! Now I'll catch it with my pokéball!

Ash: (was caught by Penny's pokéball)

Then there was a giant German nazi army behind Chuanchan, who is really an evil communist dictator. Everybody who knows Chuanchan should realise that this is fairly obvious, and if they hadn't figured it out by now, this episode is for them! And if Chuanchan reads this; we're screwed. (Screw Flanders)

__

Pokéball, go! I choose you, Ash!

Ash: "Ash! Ash!" (proving that pokémon trainers are not smarter than their pokémon, and that many people have one-word vocabularies cough REEM_cough)_

Quick Ash! Get that Nazi scum! Get Hitler!

Ash: "Go, Pidgeotto! Use your tackle attack!"

Hitler: "(Something in German)!" (Got his ass whooped by Pidgeotto)

Ash: "Pokéball, go!"

And with that, Ash caught Hitler in a pokéball.

__

Ash: "Pidgeotto, return!"

You've owned a nice long rest. Ash, return!

Ash: "Ah crap."

Then some more stuff happened, and the people from Hell mysteriously weren't in the scene anymore except for Piccolo and Bra, Bojack and Jyuuhatchigo suddenly didn't exist and the Nazi army was decimated to the German dogs from Wolfenstein and the Chinese emperor.

**__**

And Chuanchan.

And Chuanchan.

__

I choose you, Ash!

Ash: "Go, Hitler!"

Hitler: "Hitler! Hitler! Pokéball, go!"

Chinese emperor: (is caught by Hitler)

Ash: "Hitler, return!"

Ash, return!

Chuanchan: (turns around with her MP40 and shoots at all of the Wolfenstein dogs)

****

She really does kill all of the Wolfenstein dogs. Amazing, no?

Geez Chuanchan, you kick ass. (See? We're your friends…)

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

**__**

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

****

Stay tuned for more SON OF DREAD!!!

(Screw Flanders).


	13. Series 2, Episode 5 – Chinese Emperor Ca...

__

Son** of Dread**_ Series 2, Episode 5 – Chinese Emperor Catches a Pokémon!_

For those of you that didn't see the last episode, this is now a plot-building episode, so that you can make sense of the last episode.

__

Best episode ever.

****

Isn't it meant to be worst…?

Best episode ever. You know that I'm not a chicken. 

And with that Penny pulled out a wooden swqqqredxxxxaszddf9(sword) and put it to her head.

__

All right, I'm Rini's boyfriend. 

****

Small lady you can trust in Sailor Moon, this is your dream Rini. If you trust in us we can do any thing.

Most of the commies are dead and the rest bar Chuanchan are caught in pokéballs. 

****

I promise you, one day you will get home to your mummy…now to SON OF DREAD@!!!!@#$%^%$#^$$#

We join our heroes with the usual "Zenith, I want to get laid. If you don't have "IT" with me right now I'm going to tell every one that you slept with Ashes pokémon "Hitler"... and with Ash, Piccolo…do I really have to say all those names, Penny's typing and she doesn't know how to spell." 

"I did not." 

"In the future of Shi-no men once walked upon the Earth alone, now they fly at mega height, long live Orlando! Flight is might!" sang Shi-no pleased that an imaginary world was named after him.

"I'm not that fat, and I'm wearing my wig so I've lost 50 pounds, and I don't have no boyfriend."

"Bad luck, you suck," said Duccio to Little Washu

"But not you," said Little Washu. 

"… , …" said Duccio 

"Hey I didn't know that '…' rhymed with '…'"

__

Maybe his trying to tell me that because she is made of … that my Penny powers might work…!?????!!! Q!QQWERYGVBGCSXSDFGGVFVDS 

"That was one hell of a typo… ummmmm," said…someone 

"No that isn't a typo, as I said earlier Penny is typing," said …that person.

**__**

That's it. I am takin' over. Basically what happened is… Chuanchan and her evil communist army possessed the evil killer crowd from hell to kill Penny for being a republican or maybe a democrat, and then Penny caught Ash in a pokéball, set him on Hitler who he caught in a pokéball, then Penny set Ash on Chinese Emperor who set Hitler on Chinese Emperor who caught him in a pokéball. So now anything that happened by anybody in hell now is inconsequential and this is very confusing except it's not. Now we need some stuff to happen.

Okay then.

__

Darien: (enters through the giant Piccolo-sized hole in the backdrop) "Hey, has anybody seen Rini? Heh heh, heh heh…"

Aha! I must catch 'em all and become a pokémon master! Ash, go!

Ash: "Ash! Ash!" (sends out Hitler)

Hitler: "Hitler! Hitler!" (sends out Chinese Emperor)

Chinese Emperor: "Chinese Emperor! Chinese Emperor!" (pokéball, go!)

Darien: "Paedophile! Paedophile!" (is caught by Chinese Emperor)

"No! Penny is becoming a better Digimon tamer than I! That unpossible! Metal-More-Decapitated-Than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon, do something!!!" screamed Little Washu. "Digi modify! Digivolution, activate!"

Then some words flashed on screen:

MATRIX ……….

DIGIVOLUTION_

"Metal-More-Decapitated-Than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon matrix digivolve to… Dark-Black-Skull-Waru-Mega-Demi-Metal-More-Decapitated-Than-Completely-Decapitated-achu-mon!"

And it digivolved to its In-Training stage.

__

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

****

Look out for Son of Dread, Movie 3 – Screw Flanders; ULTRA BEERO is on the Way!!


	14. Series 2, Episode 6 – Big Washu

****

Son of Dread_ Series 2, Episode 6 – Big Washu_

****

Hello and welcome to Son of Dread.

You'll never guess how this episode is gonna start!

"Zenith! I wanna get laid!" said Little Washu.

"That really is getting old," said Zenith.

"Zenith… I'm getting laid…"

"WHAT?!"

Little Washu had been given a vibrator by the narrators so we could finally change the beginning of Son of Dread.

**__**

I'm fairly sure that was Penny's idea.

Why wouldn't it be?

Well anyway, let's begin some plot.

"Hey little Washu, why is this episode called 'Big Washu'?" asked Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon.

"Maybe her breasts grow larger…" said Zenith wishfully.

"Well I hope that is what they mean," said Little Washu, "the only other thing they could mean is that my…"

"You mean you have a penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?" asked Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon.

"Yes…I mean no."

"Hello, I'm looking for Little Washu," said a tall gorgeous babe

"I didn't know that you were a dyke…………………………………………………………………………………………." gasped Shi-no

__

Wow! That was one long gasp.

****

Yeah, he must have the lung capacity of a whale!!!!

Team rocket is blasting off again!

****

Then let our powers combine!

Earth!

****

Fire!

"No, you two! This is a storyline episode!" yelled the babe.

**__**

Sorry…

"So you should be!"

"Big Washu, what are you doing here?!" screamed Little Washu.

"Just a sec," said Big Washu the babe. She was busy flirting with Zenith.

"You'd better talk to her, or she'll go and cry."

"I HATE YOU JECHT!!!" yelled the Bahamut kid, pretending to be Tidus and ran off into the backdrop, knocking himself out.

"Nerds… Anyway, I'm here for a raisin, Little Washu."

"What? A raisin?"

__

And for no raisin, the giant brain left Earth forever.

"Oh, that kind of raisin."

"Zenith, I love you," Big Washu started trying to make out with Zenith.

Shi-no got out a video recorder.

"AAH!" Little Washu tackled Big Washu off Zenith, and started pashing him herself.

Big Washu turned to the camera.

"I sense something different about his energy. Be careful, Sailor Scouts, she… I mean he… could be from the Negaverse!"

This is where you the audience say right.

"Huh?" asked Zenith, disentangling himself from Little Washu.

"Don't cry," said the Bahamut kid, waking up. "I HATE YOU!" He ran into the backdrop again, knocking himself out again.

Just so you all know, Big Washu works for Dread.

"For who?" asked all the Son of Dread heroes. "Who was Dread again?"

"Never mind," said Big Washu. "It's an illusion!"

__

Or so it would seem!

****

Dread is…

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! We can't hear you!!!" Big Washu screamed.

**__**

Fine! I'm going to go make baked potatoes.

"Holy Yevon!"

"No! My sister's a Yevonite!" cried Little Washu.

"No, Zenith's working for Dread!!"

"Who's Dread again?" asked Zenith.

__

Luna: "Gasp! It's Sailor Zenith! Zenith, take this pen and say; Faggot power, and hurry! Sailor Moon is in trouble! She needs your help!"

"Faggot power!" Zenith transformed into the legendary hero, Pretty Soldier Sailor Zenith! "In the name of the gays, I will punish you!"

"Oh Zenith!" said Little Washu.

"What? No! How can this be?" exclaimed Big Washu. "I was destined to become the king of all creation!"

"Gay and Lesbian hearts attack!" Zenith destroyed Big Washu.

"Zenith! That was my sister!"

"Sssh! Don't say my name or they'll know who I am!"

"Huh?" Shi-no and Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon were confused, but Duccio couldn't be bothered to think of another rhyme.

"Don't cry. It begins," said the Bahamut kid.

"What?"

"I hate you."

"Huh?"

"I said I hate you!" The Bahamut kid once again ran into the backdrop and knocked himself out.

"Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon digivolve to… Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2!"

**__**

What a nice plot-building episode.

Zero came back in with a bag of popcorn.

"That was a plot-building episode?!" asked Little Washu.

__

Penny like bagels.

~Fin


	15. Series 2, Episode 7 – Not suitable for c...

****

Son of Dread _Series 2, Episode 7 – Not suitable for children under the age of 15_

Welcome… wait a minute… look at that title! I'm under the age of 15! NOO! I can't write this!

****

Well I am now 15, so I can. Go home, Penny.

I will… wait a minute… We're at school!!! NOOO!!!

****

I'll be your parental guidance.

Ohh. Can you tell me where babies come from?

****

Well Penny, that's an interesting story. When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…

Nine months later…

**__**

And that's where babies come from.

Thank you for showing me and letting me experience firsthand.

****

Now what are you going to name your new son?

It's a daughter.

****

No Penny, it's a boy.

Same thing. It's a baby. HI BABY!

****

No! It could be a spy!

Well now that I've got a baby, we'll have to integrate it into Son of Dread. I shall call my baby, Little… No, that's not right. I shall call my baby She-Man!

****

Anyway, back to the story.

Or to the story in general.

"Zenith I wanna… oh wait a minute, I've got a dildo now. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh…"

Everybody stares at Little Washu as she starts to unzip her pants.

"Can't I get any privacy around here?!"

"Not in the middle of Yuna's wedding!"

Yuna doesn't like the stairs and thus jumps of the edge of the building. Unfortunately, she got her timing all wrong because her wedding hadn't even started yet and it was entirely pointless. There was also the whole thing about Seymour not wanting Yuna but just wanting to get Tidus jealous.

__

Tidus: "I love you Seymour!"

Seymour: "I love you Tidus!!"

SCREW FLANDERS!!!

"Okay. Hey, hey," said Duccio, running off the set into the Simpson's set (which was next door).

2 minutes later, Flanders runs past completely nude screaming 'help me lord!!' !!!!!

"I never knew Duccio liked his men so gay… oh wait, yes I did," said Zenith, looking around nervously and farting in agony.

"Hey, Zenith," said Shino. "Shouldn't we be looking for the magical belt of Fat-B-Gone? I mean really how many episodes has it been since we even mentioned that name? C'mon, seriously, it is an important part of the plot!"

"We have a plot?" said Zenith.

"This is news to me!!!"

Just then, Little Washu spots something on the floor. "Oh look! A Pikachu burger! So this wedding was at least well catered for!"

And now that Little Washu has a Pikachu Burger, more of the elusive plot may be revealed.

__

Very elusive.

"We must find the legendary souvenir shop in the city of… the city of… psst, somebody help me here."

"The city of Pallet Town!" yelled Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2.

"Yes! The city of Pallet Tow… hey, that doesn't make sense. Okay, the town of Pallet Town."

"But… the only one who can lead us to Pallet Town is…"

__

Go! Ash!

Ash: Ash! Ash!

Ash! Lead us to Pallet Town!

Ash: Ummmmmm… Can't I go in the Orange Island League first?

Uh, Ash. Okay!

Ash: Hooray! …Oh yeah. Ash! Ash!

****

And with that, we all competed in the Orange League championships, riding along on Lapras.

And She-Man become a pokémon master!

She-Man: She-Man, and the masters of the universe! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du!

Oh holy Yevon! My daughter's queer!

****

Stop praying to farts! Our son is gay!

Lapras: Um, guys, too many of you are on my back! I'm drowing!

"But you're a water pokémon," said Little Washu as she 'entertained' Zenith.

__

Lapras: Or so it would seem.

"But you're blue! Is that part of your skin condition, Zim? No ears!" yelled Zenith.

__

Lapras: … …Yes.

She-Man: Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du!

All: …

She-Man: By the power of Greyskull! I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!

All: … -_-;

Oh no! We've reverted to face pictures now!

****

Which was YOUR fault, if you remember correctly.

Me no speak English. J 

****

_;;; Penny, you suck

She-Man: Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du!

Later that month, after many countless episodes of many countless scenes that have entirely nothing to do with this episode, in which Brock left our group…

__

Piccolo: (watching TV in hell) That was such a sad episode! Boohoohoo! ;_;

All: PISS OFF PICCOLO! PAY YOUR CABLE BILL!! (cut off his TV)

Piccolo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yay, we're finally nearly almost back to Pallet Town!" said Ash.

"Yeah!" said Misty, while trying to give Ash a blowjob. But Ash was such a big loser that all he ever dreamed of was being with Duccio.

"Oh holy Yevon!" screamed Zenith.

Then Duccio jumped in with a crappy rhyme… but we didn't have the time or the money to include it in the plot.

"Um… no, Shi-no is dividing."

"And seven goes into tree, no three, wait… Seven goes into seventy tree, um threee…. WAIT!!! I am wrong!"

__

No, we were wrong.

****

???

I should never have paid children.

****

And where am I? Paying the childcare bills, or whatever. I need a drink.

I mean, where is my child now!? It's ten o'clock! What's with children nowadays?

****

Do you know where your child is right now?

Nooo!!! I already told you, dammit!

****

Then what's my money paying for?!

My drinking habit!!!

"Hi Ash! You're finally home!"

__

Ash: Hi mom!

Stinking Americans!…..learn how to spell!!

****

Look who's talking Penny!

Look who's talking two? I hated the first one, but I liked the dogs.

****

Ruff ruff, Penny.

Ash: Um, has this man always lived here?

"He's your father!"

"Hi! Nice to meet you!"

__

All SoD characters: Aaaahh!

"Aaah!" -Ash's father

__

All: It's… Utsagi slash Cartman!To be Continued


	16. Series 2, Episode 8 – A Continuation of ...

****

Son of Dread _Series 2, Episode 8 – A Continuation of Not suitable for children under the age of 15_

I'm still not old enough, but okay.

****

She-Man! Where are you?

"Oh holy Yevon!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"When did you become a Yevonite?" asked Little Washu, becoming less attracted to Zenith.

"Uh, I thought it was cool. Everybody's doing it!!"

__

Oh holy Yevon.

****

Penny, you're NOT a YEVONITE!!!!!!

Yeah, so? I must take upon their God's name in vain!!!!

****

Uh-huh…

"What are you doing here, Utsagi?! I thought I killed you!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"I was, uh-huh-huh. When Piccolo let everybody out of hell, I sissyed out and came here."

__

Pokéball, go!

"Aah!"

__

Ash: Hey! That's my mother!

Whoops. Uh-huh-huh. Wooo! I'm Elvis!

****

No! My son is a freak baby!

I meant to catch Utsagi, but what're you gonna do? Go, Ash's mom!

Ash's mom: Ash's mom! Ash's mom!

Get him! Make him die from never paying child support bills!

Ash's mom: Ash's mom! (serves everybody afternoon tea)

"What a housewife," commented Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2.

__

Ash: Hey!

"Your mother wears army boots!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

__

Ash: Yargh! (tackles Zenith) No! The stench! The STENCH!

"Uh-huh-huh!"

**__**

Stop being Elvis, y'all y'all!

Yeah, y'all know there's only one fat king here and that's Utsagi!

"Noooo!" screamed Utsagi, farting in agony.

That's enough!

"Oh my God! The event narrator slash Dread killed Cartman!"

"You bastard!"

__

It's obvious what I have to do here to save the day! Ash, I need your pokéballs!

All: Eeeewww!

"Eew! Eew!" rhymed Duccio.

__

Ash: EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!

Piccolo: Eeew!

All: …

Piccolo: Um…

You're not supposed to be here.

****

Go home, hippie!

@$&^$WE*^#Q$O!

****

Language!

"Use more of it," interrupted Little Washu.

__

Piccolo: Boohoo. (goes home)

All: Hooray!

Well, during that brief interlude Penny beat up Ash, stole his pokéballs and sent him into his pokéball, Ash's mom wore army boots, and forced Duccio and Zenith to eat her afternoon tea, which gave them diarrhoea, and so on and so forth. Now, all are heading towards the legendary souvenir shop.

"I need to use the bathroom!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"Me too, I poo!" said Duccio.

"Let's just ignore them," said Little Washu, but was unfortunately soiled upon.

Let's just skip that scene, and head straight to that legendary… place. I forgot how to spell… wait a minute!

**__**

And I forgot what else Penny's deluded rambling was saying, so let's ignore her too.

Oh goody.

****

Do you know where your child is?

Dammit! No!!

So everybody was at the … place.

"Oh my GAWD! Look at this t-shirt!" said Shi-no.

"Um… Hey! You stole my line!" said Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2. "And I would have had said it much better!"

"Well, you're laggin' mate."

"I am…. Not!"

"Laggeriffic!!"

"I… amm… …."

"LAGGY!"

Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2 at this point, fails to move for a few moments. He must be Yuna.

"…Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon2… di…gi…volve… to………………. Laggy-Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon!"

__

Very nice.

****

He's laggeriffic!

"Um, what are we looking for in here anyway, Little Washu?" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

**__**

My problem is that I don't have that line on Ctrl+C.

"I don't know! It must be your problem! I need a Pikachu burger!" snapped Little Washu.

__

Wow, that snap must've really hurt your neck.

"Alright, I just said we should come here, but not mentioning anything in particular."

"However, you did say it in conjunction with the Magical Belt of Fat-B-Gone!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"Oh yeah. Excuse me sir?" Little Washu turned to the shop attendant. "GASP!"To be Continued


	17. Series 2, Episode 9 – A Continuation of ...

****

Son of Dread _Series 2, Episode 9 – A Continuation of A Continuation of Not suitable for children under the age of 15_

Can we get a new title already?!

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Nope.

"Wow, you could be on Sailor Moon, you buffoon!" observed Duccio.

"Hey! I just gasped because I realised that I'd forgotten to breathe for a while! ANYWAY, do you happen to have a Magical Belt of Fat-B-Gone in stock?"

"Nope."

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All: …

"…"

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All: Oh.

"Wait a minute, yes I do. I'll be a moment."

And with that, the shop attendant put all of the Son of Dread characters on hold.

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Oh holy Yevon!

****

Wait a minute, that didn't make any sense, we're not on the phone or anything!

Wait a minute, I've been spelling sense with a C! 

The hold music promptly vanished in a puff of illogic.

"Okay, I'm back. That's fifteen hundred."

"I can afford that." Zenith pulled out his wallet.

"Um, fifteen hundred thousand."

"Stretching the wallet a little…"

"Fifteen hundred thousand million gil."

"Shit! I can't afford that! No-one can!"

"He's right!"

**__**

FINALLY! OH HOLY YEVON THAT WAS JUST PISSING ME OFF SO MUCH! YOU'D BETTER NOT DO THIS AT THE BIG TOURNEY NEXT WEEKEND YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP! Okay, my computer screwed up and quit WinWord four times on the line after The hold music promptly vanished in a puff of illogic. I have written the rest of that scene so many times I must know it off by heart! Of course, originally Zenith did not swear and merely said a jumble of incomprehensible symbols, and now that I changed it in this version the computer seems happy, no? Yes, because it is saving, and letting me type my Son of Dread!

Okay, that's enough about you. Back to the story.

"Well I'm sorry little missy…"

"It's Little Washu!"

"Because I just can't drop my price any lower than that."

Duccio pulled out a massive wallet, and bought the Magical Belt of Fat-B-Gone.

"WHAT?!"

"Where did you get that much money?!" screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"That old nurse, I took her purse."

"Nice one, mate."

So the Son of Dread characters took the Magical Belt of Fat-B-Gone and tried to find out more about the plot. Unfortunately, Penny got tired and decided to have a chicken burger, because Penny likes chicken.

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I like chicken.

Just then, Little Washu made a commotion about her hair, for no real raisin.

"Ewww! My hair's got crap in it!"

"Well duh. You were soiled upon," screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

"If you want to use a shower, it's fourteen gil."

"Okay."

"Fourteen hundred gil."

"Would you stop that?!"

"Fourteen hundred thousand gil."

"SoD off!!!"

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She-Man: For the laundry, of Greyskull!!

All: Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du!

She-Man: (runs off through the Piccolo sized hole in the backdrop)

Man, we should get that fixed. It's been there since what, series 1?

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Do you know where your child is?

Shut up! DAMMIT! BNO!!! What part of bno don't you understand?! The meaning, the spelling, well, all of it?

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I can understand my mistake of spelling bno. Look at a keyboard. See? B and N are next to each other. This must be Jyuuhatchigo's fault.

At some moment close to then, somebody did the laundry of Greyskull.

"Okay, ignoring the narrators now, Zenith, there seems to be something different about you…" said Little Washu.

"Ummm…. Noo…." screamed Zenith, farting in agony. "I haven't had a bi-mastectomy or anything…"

"No, that's not it."

"Zenith, didn't you used to wear glasses?" asked Shi-no.

"Oh, well that would explain why I keep running into walls, and why I keep mistaking Duccio for Little Washu," screamed Zenith, farting in agony.

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All: … -_-;;

It's a faaaacceee!!!

"Then that's something to add to the storyline! Let's go questing for Zenith's glasses!"

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And my daughter.

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Son!

"Wait a minute, don't we need the balls? I need some balls," said Laggy-Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon.

"I hope you mean dragonballs," said Shi-no.

"Oh. Whatever."

~Fin


	18. Series 2, Episode 10 – Let’s Go a’Questi...

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Son of Dread _Series 2, Episode 10 – Let's Go a'Questing_

(Note: This is an entirely rhyming episode.)

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(Further note: This is going to be very difficult)

Last time; no rhyme.

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Now, you cow, we rhyme, all the time!

A pity, because we're in the city!

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We're not, but that's all we got.

On to the story, in all its flashy glory!

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Woohoo! Eat poo!

(Washu) "I wanna get laid… um… saying that hasn't paid!"

(Duccio) "I like this episode, it's my kind of episode!"

(Zenith) "That was a really sad rhyme, it doesn't pay its time!"

(Washu) "Time for what? Let's smoke pot!"

(Shi-no) "No drug references please, I like cheese!"

(Zenith) "Yeah, that's why you smell, and ring like a bell!"

(Washu) "What the hell?"

Now all the characters are going a'questing for Zenith's glasses and some dragonballs!

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Why does the event narrator, that stupid… narrator, not have to rhyme, like we do all the time?!

Because I'm special, and you're not. Ha ha.

**__**

We may not be special, but we are on the level? I'm not good at this, I'm gonna go take a piss.

So unencumbered by the dead weight of Zero, the SoDding characters wandered off somewhere.

(Duccio) "Where are your glasses? I like passes…"

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Why must we rhyme? I feel like a mime.

(Shi-no) "But mimes don't speak, and you're not weak."

If you don't speak in rhyme, you get shocked with a cattle prod. It doesn't apply to me because I don't exist.

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You suck. Hyuck hyuck!!

(Washu) "Let's lick the hic!"

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??? ???

(Washu) "I mean Zenith, y'know, Zenith!"

(Shi-no) "What a crappy rhyme."

(Laggy-Lump-of-Decapitated-Flesh-mon) "She does it all the time."

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She-Man: Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! I've got the power!

You know she's got the power!

She-Man: I've got the power!

You know she's got the power!

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It's our son, you doldrum! It is a he, not a she!

Let's ditch rhyming.

****

Okay.

"I'm hungry, and the narrators tell me it's time for another plot anchor. Let's go buy me a Pikachu burger," said Little Washu. So off they went to buy her a Pikachu burger. Unfortunately, the first place they went to was McDonalds.

**__**

There! We've mentioned you in this series, so you might as well pay us advertising money now!

There, they ordered a grease burger, with extra cholesterol. The problem with this was the amount of cholesterol was so vast that it created a gravitational instability and collapsed into a black hole. So Little Washu decided to go and get some real food.

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I should mention now that this is the last episode in series 2, so we should hurry up and reintroduce storyline.

****

As if.

Um, yes.

She-Man: Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du! Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du!

****

He's your son, y'know. Gets it from you.

Daughter, damn it!

Just then, She-Man started to dance around, while singing the doo doo doo thing, and somehow managed to produce a Pikachu burger from his/her/its butt.

**__**

My son is so multi-talented.

Daughter! Damn it! Daughter!

****

Then why has he got a… you know…

Breasts? Well that's because HE'S A GIRL!!!!

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Compromise. He's on anabolic steroids.

"Oh my god! My breast has been activated!" said Little Washu.

"Wrong script!" prompted Zenith.

"Damn it! I love my breasts!" said Little Washu, taking a bite out of her Pikachu burger. Just then, her burger started glowing. "Oh my god! I just like saying oh my god! I mean, oh my god!" said Little Washu, looking at her breasts. "I'm a d-cup!"

"Uh, Little Washu, your burger's glowing there, might wanna fix it," said Zenith, keeping a close eye on Little Washu's left breast, who he had nicknamed 'Jigglypuff'.

"Oh my god!" Little Washu really likes saying oh my god. "My burger is glowing! Maybe it's going to become my third breast!"

What should I call this one? thought Zenith.

"Pikachu burger digivolve to… He/she/it-mon!" said that voice.

"Oh my god! I think it's become a living …. Thing!"

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Yeah, but burgers from McDonalds were never really dead.

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Is Washu's burger really evolving? Oh… wait, it already digivolved… Well… I hope Goku knows what he's doing! Tune in next time, for a new series of SON OF DREAD!!!

Woo! Woo! Pizza!! Woo!


	19. Series 3, Episode 1 – Cows are my Friend...

**__**

Son of Dread _Series 3, Episode 1 – Cows are my Friends_

(insert victory music from Final Fantasy here)

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Finally! Series 3!

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Longer and better than ever.

QWith moretypos than eve. I love typos. They type.

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Penny is hyperactive today.

I had chocolate for breakfast. About two rows.

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The start of this episode of Son of Dread, is coming to you live from our SOSE class!

Coming soon to a store near you!

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…Yes.

Okay! Episode!

Now that the narrators have had a look at the last episode and know what's going on, we have a vague storyline.

"What's a storyline?" asked Zenith.

"I don't know, maybe it's something to pull up our abysmal ratings," said Little Washu.

"What ratings?" said Shi-no.

"We have RATINGS?!" Laggy-Lump-of-Fleshmon said.

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Well only because of Little Washu's breasts but YES! We do have ratings!

****

Rated MA15+ for some reason.

"Dear Little Washu, your eyes make two great giant pools that reflect your beauty and Firaga spells! Oh Little Washu, won't you let me swim in your eye-pools?" sang Duccio.

"Wow! He didn't rhyme!"

"You've cured me! I need to pee! I no longer rhyme, all the time…! Oh… no…"

**__**

Ah yes, it is time for another PLOT ANCHOR!

Woo! Pizza! WOOO!!!

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That's not a plot anchor!!

(Now Penny is writing Son of Dread while waiting for wrestling to start)

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Well it should be. Do you know that more then four hundred people…

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You Suck!?

Any way, Little Washu ran into Duccios arms and started to kiss him. Unfortunatly Duccio had a rather big bowel movment and Little Washu was soiled upon. This caused Little Washu to ack off a little to Zeniths reliefe. 

Zenith then ran his thingy up and down Duccios leg. He then was happy when Shi-no…well you don't want to know. It took a little while for Little Washu to notice because

**__**

BAD PENNY!!!!

I Like Pie!

The characters then moved on (Zenith still doing up his pants) and started to do something. 

The characters then decided to get into their swim suits so they could swim in Little Washu's Eye-pools! Unfortunately Duccio never really finished potty training and peed in Little Washu's Eye-pools. After that Little Washu demanded everyone out.

The gang then went to find Zeniths glasses. 

"Hey," said Zenith, "I just realized that I never named Little Washu's Right Breast. I think that we have found our new plot anchor. I have to Find a name for little Washu's right breast."

(Now (several days later) this comes to you from the library!)

**__**

That's good, because you already found Zenith's glasses. I think.

I don't think so. Where did we find them?

****

I dunno. It doesn't matter. Let's just ignore it and it'll go away.

Smile and nod, then wave at the plot anchor and maybe it'll go away.

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Penny, we want the plot anchors.

Oh. Right.

"Let us ride to Camela!"

"Alice the camel had, four humps. Alice the camel had, four humps. Alice the camel had, four humps, so go Alice go!"

"Alice the camel had, twelve humps. Alice the camel had, twelve humps. Alice the camel had, twelve humps, so go Alice go!"

"Alice the camel had, no humps. Alice the camel had, no humps. Alice the camel had, no humps, Alice the camel's a horse!"

"Camela!"

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Alice can't get any anymore cause Alice ran out of humps!

Jyuuhatchigo: Piss off you bitch!

"I'm sorry Zenith, but I just don't think the name Camela suits my breast."

"Oh darn…"

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Jyuuhatchigo: You take that out!

"And put it back in, and shake it all about. That's what it's all about!"

"I don't think the name Hokey-Pokey suits it either…"

"Oh come on, that's a perfect name!" insisted Laggy-Lump-of-Fleshmon.

"Yeah, Jigglypuff and Hokey-Pokey," said Shi-no.

"Okay, we must go on a journey…! Wait, we've started the journey haven't we?" Zenith had a hangover. "And it also hangs lower."

"Okay… I don't know the name of your penis, but I don't want my breast named after that."

"We must go on a quest to name my penis! 'Cause nothing can defeat the penis!"

"It is time to fight the Penis, look out, Hyenas." Yelled Duccio like a little weiner. 

__

Yay, I'm now writing. Spelling has no place here. You're trapped in my world now. Its full of plot holes and spelling errors. 

Just then they figured out a name for Zeniths Penis. 

**__**

Camela!!!

"No, we want to call it Betty!" said one of the Son Of Dread characters.

"Hmmmm," said Zenith, "A girls name for a guys tool. Well stranger things have happened,"

"Yeah," said Laggy-Lump-of-Fleshmon, "like Reem."

"It just so happens that this is meant to be about me and my breasts!!!" screamed little washu, pulling of her shirt and displaying her breasts for all to see. "And I would be terribly scandalized if one of them was to be named Reem."

"So would I," said Zenith, "especially when I'm squeezing them together to make one round peach."

"You've never done that," said little Washu.

"Not when you were awake," said Zenith under his breath. 

"Well, the time is dinner time," said Shi-no, then he went on to chase the rest of the Son Of Dread characters around the set, trying to tag them. 

At that point, no one really wanted to play 'What's the time mister wolf' so they ate some doggy doo that had somehow multiplied on little WaSHUS HEAD. AND THEN THE FONT CONVERTED TO CAPS AND PENNY WAS TO LAZY TO CHANGE IT. 

Then She-man came to the rescue and fixed the damn caps button. 

"Oh no," screamed little washu, "My head came off." Then some stuff happened and Penny passed the lap top to Merlin. But Merlin had a bug butt, so she couldn't reach the laptop. 

"Um…Little Washu, maybe you should put your shirt back on." Said Zenith. 

But unfortunately, at that moment a wilderbeast came a long and ate her shirt. And because the narrators have almost run out of founding, Little Washu will have to go around without a shirt for a while.

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Hey, Maybe I shouldn't have payed for that lap dance from Yuna, Then we would have been able to afford another shirt. 

"How far is it to the next town brock?" asked ash. 

"Shut up Ash," Yelled Brock taking off his shirt, "I challenge you to a stripping fight." 

Ash sent out his fire Pokemon and Brock sent out his ding dong. 

"Use Fire breath," shouted Ash.

"Use flop attack," shouted Brock.

Ash's Pokemon couldn't stand up to the Flop attack and was squashed. 

"Shit," Said Ash, "Go, Grass monster." 

Ash's Grass monster came out and looked around In a dopey way. 

"Use Grass attack," Ash yelled in a girly voice.

Ash's pokémon then put on a rasterfarian hat and started to smoke pot. 

"Right," said Little Washu, "Lets get back to our story now." 

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Alright, Ash Return

"Yay," Yelled everyone, "Our hero!" 

"In honer of Penny saving our show, We have decided to name little Washus other breast…Penny." 

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Hey, I was here to!

__

So, people love me more then they do you. 

****

Your point is. 

__

They made me an icon, while you are still only known as a narrator.

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They made you a breast

So?

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Whatever!!!!!1

Well that's it. Its time for the end of thisd episode so until next time S.O.D fans, keep watching the Sky. 

Right??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????…and so on. 


	20. Series 3, Episode 2 – Boys from the Past

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Son of Dread_ Series 3, Episode 2 – Boys from the Past_

WE HAVE COKE!!!

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Oh, and we can also buy those energy drinks…

That shorten our life spans… Yet still…

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Provide us with priceless energy!

They are planning on marketing their own energy drinks.

**__**

We have access to so much free advertising.

So much! Get away from my story! STOP READING IT!

****

Please ignore Penny. She gets like this sometimes.

Aaah! I broke my cokie!

****

Penny stop crying. We'll get you a new one.

Bahamut kid: Don't cry.

Oh that's it! Piss off! Ha HA! You pressed Ctrl Tab! Or Shift Tab… I don't know…

****

Actually, I just pressed tab. Penny stop crying!

I'm going home…

Bahamut kid: It begins.

---Cut scene---

This is the introduction after the introduction. It's like when you hire a video, and before the movie they give you this crappy little music clip that makes you stop fastforwarding because you think that you've gotten to the movie!!!!!

__

Why are we cutting scenes?

****

Shut up! You're not in this scene! …Penny, stop crying.

But I'm not… *sniffle*

She-man: Boys from the past, joining yours and mine… Do I really have to sing this entire song?

Yeah, like you could.

****

Penny! You're not supposed to say that to She-man! He needs all the encouragement he can get!

---Swiftly ended cut scene---

Suddenly, the other world song from Final Fantasy X started up and everybody played air guitar.

--WARNING! This is a flashback/dream sequence! WARNING!--

Once upon a time, there were 3 Washus. Big Washu, Medium Washu and Little Washu. They lived together in disharmony in a house.

One day, the three Washus were inspecting their jars of shrapnel.

"I don't think we have enough shrapnel," said Big Washu.

"Let's take this hundred dollar note to the shop and buy some five-cent candy," said Medium Washu.

"Okay, but we have to take the winding road through the forest," said Little Washu, who had no sense of geography.

"Little Washu, We don't live in a forest," said Big Washu.

"The nearest forest is fifteen miles away," said Medium Washu.

"We're going through the forest," said Little Washu.

So Big Washu, Medium Washu and Little Washu went to the shops through the forest.

Some time later, Zenith was skipping school down the path to the three Washu's house. He went to the front door. It was locked, so he pulled out a crowbar and smashed his way into their house.

He went up to the three jars of shrapnel. The first one was Big Washu's. He picked it up. It was made of steel. "This jar of shrapnel is too hard." He shook it, and put it down.

The next one was Medium Washu's. He picked it up. It was made of glass. "This jar of shrapnel is too soft." He turned it upside down, then back again, and the bottom fell out (this part of the story was inspired by true events, just before this story).

The last one was Little Washu's. He picked it up. It was made of a hollowed-out muffin. "This jar of shrapnel isn't a jar… it's a muffin! It's juuuust right!!!" He ate it, and then began cough up spare change.

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Hooray! Funding! Now we can do this all the time!

Next, he went to the piles of laundry. There were four of them. He went to the first pile, and She-man jumped out.

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She-man: For the laundry of Greyskull!

"What the hell?! How come you're here? This is a flashback! You weren't here back then I mean now!"

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She-man: For the laundry of Greyskull! Well, I've been playing Chrono Trigger.

And with that, She-man went off into a different room and began to do laundry loudly, singing the He-man and She-ra and mostly the She-man theme songs.

"But aren't they all the same?" asked Zenith.

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She-man: Shut up, kid. You're cramping my style. Uh-huh-huh.

"Right…"

Back to the flashback/dream sequence/Cloud!

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All: Cloud! (act demented and sit in wheelchairs)

(as Cloud) I'm gay!

That's what she named Cloud.

__

I'm gay…

Story time!!!

Zenith went up to the first pile of laundry, and it was too hot. In fact, it was on fire. Leaving dirty laundry lying around is a real fire safety hazard!

Zenith went up to the second pile of laundry, and it was too cold. We're not too sure how it was too cold, but we have informants who tell us it definitely was. We did need informants to tell us this, even if this occurred on our own set.

Zenith went up to the last pile of laundry, past She-man doing laundry.

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She-man: For the laundry, of Greyskull!

This pile of laundry was just right. Zenith picked up a pair of panties. "Wow! In my size too! How lucky am I?" He put it on over his pants and walked upstairs, past She-man doing laundry.

__

She-man: For the laundry, of Greyskull!

There were three beds. Zenith went to the first bed. "This bed is too hard. It's threatening my manhood."

Zenith went to the second bed. "This bed is too soft. Eeeewww!"

Then an emu jumped onto the set. "Crikey!" Wait! Not yet!

Zenith went to the third bed. "This bed is made of tacos. It's just right!" And he went to sleep.

Meanwhile, the three Washu's were on their way back to their house. Oh wait, they were there.

"There's someone been smashing my house!" said Big Washu.

"There's someone been smashing my house!" said Medium Washu.

"There's someone been smashing my house, and they smashed the door in good!" said Little Washu.

"There's someone been touching my shrapnel!" said Big Washu.

"There's someone been touching my shrapnel!" said Medium Washu.

"There's someone been touching me! Boo-hoo!… Wait, There's someone been touching my shrapnel, and I think they ate it! Either that or I just lost it," said Little Washu.

"Somebody's been doing my laundry!" said Big Washu.

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She-man: For the laundry, of Greyskull!

"Somebody's been doing my laundry!" said Medium Washu.

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She-man: For the laundry, of Greyskull!

"Somebody's been stealing my knickers!" said Little Washu.

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She-man: …It wasn't me. For the laundry, of Greyskull!

"Somebody's been *censored* in my bed!" said Big Washu.

"Somebody's been *censored* in my bed!" said Medium Washu.

"Somebody's done the same in my bed, and it's still sticky!" said Little Washu.

"That's not stickiness, that's a person!" said Big Washu.

"Let's poke him with a stick," said Medium Washu.

After a while…

"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and I wanna sleep with them!" Little Washu jumped in bed with Zenith and ….

**__**

We'll end the flashback/dream sequence/Cloud here.

Oooh, there're nakey…

In the future…

"Of Shi-no! Man once walked upon the earth alone. Now they fly at mega heights! Long live Orlando, Flight is might!" sang Shi-no.

Now back to the present…

"Why were we in the future?" asked Laggy-Lump-of-Fleshmon.

__

Don't ask questions to which we do not know the answer!!

"Right…"

And for some strange reason, all SoD characters were in the hotel in that place. That place were you go after Midgar in FFVII. Y'know, that place.

**__**

Mmm, where's Camela when you need her?

Getting married to Shi-no.

****

No, that's later.

I'm confused. I like pie.

She-man: I swear never to steal things from Crono again, and screw with the physics of time/space. But only until the next episode.

****

That's good, because we're sending you to a Shaolin training school far away in the mountains of China.

Have fun and train hard, daughter.

****

Son!

And stop doing people's laundry.

So She-man was shipped off to some place somewhere.

__

See, if we say 'China' three times in front of a mirror then Chuanchan will come. From China.

****

What word was that. Penny.

China. Ah shit.

Chuanchan: (runs out of the backdrop, whacks people with a saucepan and/or broom and runs back yelling about communism and maths homework)

****

Maths homework and communism is the same thing.

In theory.

Harry Potter ran in.

__

It's a witch, burn her!

"Is Voldemort the one, the one who gave me this?"

"That bad haircut? Yeah, guess so," replied Zenith.

"You bitch! From now on, I am the new evil character in SoD!"

"Heh heh, you said SoD," sniggered Shi-no.

"Why?"

"Because the narrators needed somebody to stand in as Sephiroth for this scene, and I was the only one who fit the outfit!"

__

No you didn't. You're just so damn easy to make fun of.

"Waah! My scar hurts!"

"He looks like a demented penguin!" said Little Washu.

"Anyway… Since I stand in for Sephiroth… Because Cloud, I mean uh, Zenith. You are…"

"What?"

"…"

"WHO AM I?!"

"No more Jackie Chan movies for you!" scolded Big Washu, who was there for no real reason except she was in the flashback/dream sequence/Cloud.

"…A puppet," concluded Harry Potter.

"What? Huh? I forgot what sentence you were continuing."

"Will you just go into a crazed Cloud like state already?" asked Harry Potter, and walked out.

"What if I'm not the real Zenith from your childhood? What if I'm only a doll made by Mr Popo? I'm sick of being Cloud already. Cloud sucks."

__

Cloud: CLOUD! Cloud? Cloud.

And here's Penny's savegame's version.

__

Im gay: IM GAY! Im gay? Im gay.

(Start advertising jingle here)

**__**

Buy Zero's Zero's Zero's Zero's Zero's Zero's Energy Drink! It's fun to eat it's fun to drink! Yee-haw!

For external use only.


	21. Series 3, Episode 3 – The Skank Hunter

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Son of Dread_ Series 3, Episode 3 – The Skank Hunter_

****

We tried to get another name for this episode, we really did, but this name just wouldn't go away.

We join our heroes on their way to Pallet Town. Wait a minute…

__

Wait a minute; I'm blind! They must have booby-trapped their sun somehow.

Why are we repeating plot? (Plot that wasn't good the first time, might I add…)

__

Because everybody loves Pallet Town!

No they don't.

__

Bojack: Sure they do.

Bojack?! What're you doing here?

Bojack: Penny, you need two narrators to run a series.

Yeah, me and the event narrator.

Bojack: Okay, let me rephrase that. The event narrator doesn't count.

I can count!

__

Bojack: But you don't.

Oh, okay.

__

Well then… where's Zero?

Bojack: (makes that 'I dunno' sound that cannot be classified as a word)

Okay. Let's um, start the plot.

Bojack: Okay, you guys never found Zenith's glasses. Let's do that.

I'm sure we did!

Bojack: Well you must've forgotten to write it down.

It's KFC to the max!

"So do you have any idea where they might be?" asked Little Washu.

"Yeah, down a little… no further…"

"OKAY you two! Cut it out! We're going to find Zenith's glasses… again," said Shi-no, who hadn't spoken in a while. 

"Well, the last time a saw them I was deep in the heart of skank territory, when I took my glasses off to see something and I was rushed by one thousand small assed skanks."

"So…Skanks stole your manhood…I mean glasses?" said Little Washu. 

"Well, there is only one man that can help us." Said Shi-no. 

"HI, I'm Jerry Springer and welcome to tonight's episode titled 'so you're kissing you neighbour's dog's cat's mothers…" Jerry continued to speak but everyone jumped off a cliff.

"I meant Steve Irwin," said Shi-no as he was free falling. 

__

This falling thing will save us a blank of money. It saves on the backdrops.

"Um, Well let's send him a letter and join him on screen."

Steve walked slowly through the heart of Skank territory and as he snuck up on a herd of Skanks he turned and talked to the camera that was sending a live feed to the Free Fallers. 

"Here I am, deep in the heart of Skank territory, trying to find…Crikey mate! Look at the tits on that one!" Steve yelled looking at a Skank. "Now I'm gonna stick my thumb up it's ass to make it really pissed off!"

Steve moved closer and shoved his thumb right up that Skanks Butt. Unfortunately the Skank liked it so she clenched her cheeks and Steve was stuck.

"Damn, there goes my plan," muttered Shi-no. "Looks like we have to go in there ourselves."

"No! The funding, think of the funding! Won't somebody think of the funding?!" screamed an off-stage voice.

Zenith coughed up some shrapnel.

"Now I can use this shrapnel to… to… send a letter to She-man in China begging for help!!" said Laggy-Lump-of-Flesh-mon.

__

But She-man can't help us, she's training to be a Shaolin warrior monk.

"Fine. We'll phone Camela," he said.

On the phone to CPamela…

"Hi, is Camela there?"

"No, but Pamela is. I'll get her for you."

Shi-no held the phone away from his head. "Heh heh heh, I got to talk to Camela's mother."

"Hello?"

"Hey Camela! Whassup?!!"

"Who the hell is this?!"

"It's Shi-no!"

"But you don't exist! You're just some odd delusion of Penny and Zero! And by the way my name is Pamela."

"Okedokey. Whatever you say, man. Well, will you give us a hand?"

"Whatcha doing?"

"Skank-bashing."

"Sounds like fun… but you have to do something for me."

"If this has anything to do with Zenith…"

"Stop calling me Camela! And stop paying out He-Man, She-Ra, and all of those really cool old cartoons!!!"

"Um, Penny! Come talk to Camel… I mean Pamela!!!"

"Hey Camela! Whassup?!!"

"Penny, stop calling me that…"

So after that phone call, we said we'd make one episode of Son of Dread where we didn't piss off Camela… But it wouldn't be this one.

So Pamela and Penny and the Son of Dread characters ran into skank territory, with really big sticks and rocks.

"It's skank-bashing time!" Was their warcry. 

"Mwhahahahahaha!" yelled Cloud, "Penny will be stuck in my past forever. She keeps on dying before she can save. Mwhahahahahahah…and so on…" 

"So," said Zenith, "Are we about to find my glasses?" 

"No," said Little Washu, "We intend to keep this as a back up plot. So if the narrators can't think of anything then they can use this…" 

__

Damn cloud and his Damn past…

****

Delayed reaction Penny…

A-HA, I'M TYPING AND NO ONE CAN EWVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME…

****

How do you pronounce Ewver…? 

Don't ask me, I'm just a girl………

****

I thought you were a man…or something along those lines…

I'm JUST GENDER coNfuSed… 

****

And Caps confused…

"Ummm," said Little wASHU, "Whats with the dots…?"

"What Dots…?" said Zenith…

"Those dots…oh no…a …box…?" Said Duccio, like a demented owl. 

"Look," said Shi-no, "All I'm saying is, if Harry Potter is the spawn of the devil, then Harry's son would be the spawn of the spawn of the devil…" 

"Hey," said Little Washu, "Aren't we in Skank territory…"

"God…She's right." Screamed Zenith, "And they're closing in…" 

The Skanks had silently started to surround the group, as theyhad been talking about things so intelligent the Skanks had to change the topic fast before they started to doubt themselves. 

"What are we to do, I need to poo…" said Duccio. 

"That's it!" said the Laggy one whose name I could not be bothered to type, "Duccio, I hope you really do need to poo…" 

ten minutes later the Skanks had finally got what they deserved. And the smell was nothing new to them.

__

I'd better take over from Penny, since nobody can understand her bloody ranting.

I'll rant you!

****

Ignore her.

Noahahaohooaho!!

****

She didn't know whether to say 'no' or 'nah'.

I'll nah you!

The Son of Dread characters all ignored Penny, because Penny sucks.

**__**

And I'm waaaay too lazy to write Son of Dread, so I'm going… And now I'm back.

But it's a bit late, since this is the end of the episode.

****

Bah.


	22. Series 3, Episode 4 – Where we don’t pis...

****

Son of Dread_ Series 3, Episode 4 – Where we don't piss Camela off – Attempt I_

As you can see, we have already failed.

****

But that doesn't mean we can't try again.

Bojack: I can't say I'll try, but I'll try to try.

****

What the hell?!

When did you get here?!

Bojack: I heard you guys were going to try not to piss off Pamela, and I had to see it.

Well, it didn't work.

Bojack: No duh.

****

It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your child is?

Yeah, we shipped her off to China!!!

****

HIM!!!!

Anyway, in this episode we will have something happen.

****

I get a tank, and we go to My Little Pony Land.

Bojack: Can I come too?

****

…Yes.

So completely ignoring the characters, our three non-event narrators go to the army base.

__

I wonder where they keep the tank?

****

Probably near the other tanks.

Actually, I thought they kept them near the planes.

Bojack: You're both wrong. They keep them next to the Street Fighter II characters.

Oh.

****

Yeah, that makes sense.

So the narrators wandered up to the fish and chips shop, where the original arcade version of Street Fighter versus Marvel Superheroes was kept.

But they were hungry so they didn't notice it.

__

Can I get $5 worth of chips?

Bojack: Make that $10.

****

That's a lot of chips.

"Would you like tanks with that?" asked the counter-y person lady.

__

Yeah, why the hell not?

And since nobody, I mean NOBODY pays attention to narrators in any way shape or form, those people I'm talking about got three tanks and a lot of chips…

**__**

But we didn't get any tomato sauce, because the goddamn cheapo army people made you pay extra for it!!!!

…and then they drove out without being noticed. Nobody ever pays attention to narrators pink purple chicken.

__

Bojack: Now, do we actually know the way to My Little Pony place?

Ummm…. No.

****

Do we actually know how to drive a tank?

Bojack: Does it matter?

Um…. No.

And so it didn't.

__

Bojack: So where are we going?!

****

I figured we'd stop at Camela's house and ask for directions.

At Camela Pamela's house…

**__**

Pamela, will you tell us how to get to the My Little Pony place?

Pamela: Why…? Wait a minute, where'd you get those tanks?!

Bojack: What tanks?

Pamela: The ones you're driving!!

Oh! No, these aren't tanks.

****

Yeah, yeah. Um, they're helicopters!!

Pamela: Oh really? Can you make them fly?

Uh, yes.

Pamela: Show me.

Bojack: Well, we would but we don't want to.

But Camela Pamela wouldn't tell them where the place that they were going to was.

**__**

Crap.

But then they realized that the Pony place was in their hearts!!!

__

Wait, I remember something about this.

It's Flashback time, kiddies!

__

No! Cloud!!

A long time ago, when I was still in Shinra… no, before Little Washu met everybody and was still in Shinra…

"Just remember, true power comes from here," said Axe-achu, who had rather absolutely horrible 3D animation.

"From my chest?" asked Little Washu, a little confused.

"Yes. Oh wait, your name IS Tifa, right?"

"Uh, no that's my sister."

"Lulu?"

"Another sister."

"Dude, it really runs in your family!"

"Yeah, well, you know Tifa doesn't punch with her fists."

"Uh-huh."

"And if your mother insisted upon a silicon diet, it'd run in your family too."

**__**

Wait a minute, I didn't know that Little Washu used to be a member of Shinra!!

Me neither, I was actually referring to something else.

What Penny was really referring to…

"This keyblade has the power to unlock people's hearts!!" yelled Riku.

__

Bojack: Riku is a girl's name.

Yeah, so's Sora.

****

Yeah, so's Penny.

Is not!!

****

In any case, I assume our new quest is to find us a keyblade?

Bojack: Heh heh, Disney is gay.

****

At least Kingdom hearts didn't have all of the new Disney things.

Yeah, just most of them.

****

No, only one. Tarzan.

Damn Tarzan and his Russian profanities.

Bojack: And Hercules.

****

I choose to believe Hercules does not exist.

I know you are, but what am I?

Bojack: When do the SoD characters come back?

****

When they stop being LOL wankas!!!!

Damn LOL wankas! They can all get fux0r3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…pie.

1 b3 50000 l337!!! 

****

You suck. 

Bojack: 1 b3 l3373r 7h4n j00!! 

Pastry chef.

****

Hey, do you have any idea of where the keyblade might be? 

And so's your face!

****

CS faggort!

LOL wanka!?!?!?! Da pie boss, da pie! 

****

HUH??? What the hell?

Duh, the original series of pleasure island! I love nick at night.

****

I've figured it out! We get Zoids, big Zoids, and attack the carebears.

Okay!!! Um, why?

****

Well, they're always going on about love and hearts and gay things, maybe they know about the keyblade. 

Ok, but where do we get Zoids from? 

****

Your house! 

Mine? But….i don't have any! 

Bojack: No, my house!

……..pie!

****

Burrito. Let's go!

So the narrators trekked off through seven trekkie conventions…

__

I'm a nerd!

Eight Blitzball games…

__

I'm a punk and I'm up to no good!

And then they finally remembered that they were only across the road from Bojack's house, and went in. But then they had to get out again because her brothers went crazy.

**__**

Yeah, or something.

Then they got bored and went to Big W and just nicked some of their Zoids.

But then they had to put them together.

**__**

It was über nerdtastic.

Then they set off for Pamela's house, because they didn't know where the land of the carebears was.

__

Bojack: What? Did you think we would?!

Today's experiment; Don't piss of Pamela …………………failed._ _


	23. Series 3, Episode – Where we don’t piss...

****

Son of Dread_ Series 3, Episode 4 – Where we don't piss Pamela off – Attempt II_

We can't say we'll try, but we'll try to try.

So our intrepid heroes… I mean narrators. Geez, we don't see much of the heroes anymore, do we?

**__**

Ours is not to wonder why.

Anyway, they went to Camela… I mean Pamela! Dammit!

Today's experiment; Don't piss of Pamela …………………failed.

__

Once again.

Bojack: Ah heck, does anybody actually see a way that it's possible for them not to piss her off?

*silence* *crickets and other irritating bugs make irritating bug noises*

__

Bojack: Okay, I didn't think so!

****

What was your favourite part of today's episode?

…

…

****

Yeah, I liked that too!

Yum yum yum yum yum!

****

Delicioso!

Bojack: Okay.

ANYway, our three narrators in their Zoids went to Pamela's house.

__

Didn't we have tanks a minute ago?

****

Yes we had tanks, but now we have Zoids!

I want my tank back!

****

Which do you prefer, your excessively well-armed Blade Liger or your tank?

I know you are, but what am I?

****

A faggort in a Blade Liger.

Fear the panda!!

They knock on her door.

**__**

Knock knock knock.

PIE!!!

Bojack: You just knocked the pie!

Pamela: That was bad.

It's Flashback time, kiddies!

__

CLOUD!!!!!

In the Exorcist 3 (yes they made one) (yes people watch it) (yes we did watch it) (shut the hell up), a statue is in the hospital with it's face smashed in.

__

They defaced the statue!

Now that's what I call a bad pea day.

Pamela: Why are you here again? And why do you have Zoids?

Bojack: These aren't Zoids they're uh… tanks!

Pamela: Oh really? Then why don't you blow up my house?

****

Okay.

And so Pamela's house gets blown up.

__

Pamela: OY!

We didn't do anything.

****

Yeah.

*crickets and other irritating bugs make irritating bug noises*

__

Bojack: It was Jana.

****

Yeah, go kill Jana.

Pamela: No.

Pamela, will you tell us the way to carebear land?

Pamela: Why are you guys suddenly so obsessed with old cartoons?!

****

Well, you remember how we said we'd make an episode not to piss you off?

Pamela: Yes…

****

Yeah, me too.

Pamela: Piss off.

Bojack: It's okay! I remember the way to carebear land!

Then why didn't you tell us earlier?

Bojack: Duh, because then we wouldn't have blown up Pamela's house.

Oh yeah.

Bojack: Anyway it's in the clouds.

****

CLOUD!!!! …so how do we get up there?

Bojack: We'll just jump really high!

Okay!

But then they were too lazy to jump and just got a taxi.

**__**

Yeah, a taxi big enough to fit a Blade Liger, a Zabre Fang and a Gun Sniper…

Yeah, a taxi that can fly.

Bojack: Yep!

I made this!


	24. I HATXORS TEH FANFICTIONNET!

****

Son of Dread_ Series 3, Episode 6 – Where we don't piss Pamela off – Attempt III_

__

I like flying taxis. MEOW~!

****

WARK!!!!

Bojack: MRAOW!!!

And thus the somewhat heroic, or at least mildly important narrators took taxis to the clouds, where they believed the carebears lived.


End file.
